Saturday, December 25, 2021

What's So Special About our Dialogue Practice?

The title above is just one of the questions people have had about our dialogue practice.

     

                At first the answer seems to be "Not much; Mostly we sit around and listen." Then again it is amazing that such a practice exists. It is wonderful that it exists. 

                Then too, there are very special facts like: Our dialogue practice builds and maintains cultures! It supports world peace and peace in Colombia. It broadens participants' understanding. It brings increased meaning into our lives! It helps husbands and wives to better understandings!

                By checking out more posts on this blog you can find out a lot.

Here are a few other things which seem special about our dialogue practice just now:

~ We come to understand the opinions of others.
~ We feel that our practice is important.
~ We care little when nothing seems to be done.
~ We share meanings.
~ We may come to think together.
~ We sometimes find that our practice affects us at a deeper more beautiful level.
~ We become a better we.
~ We get to know important assumptions and opinions of others.
~ We become more skillful speakers and listeners.
~ Our understanding becomes broader, wider, and deeper.





                                                                                                                                    by me

Saturday, December 18, 2021

Dialogue Practice Notes

Dialogue With RCS: Notes about the new kind of communication being used by many.


                I am kind of starting in the middle of this dialogue practice stuff because I do not know where the beginning is. Come to think of it, I believe that there is no end to it either. Is there and end to the practice of medicine?  Maybe, but so far, when the career of one doctor ends another doctor continues the practice. 

                The practice of medicine is important. By reading on you may discover that many consider the practice of dialogue more important than that of medicine.  The practice of dialogue is certainly serious.  It is also interesting and fun.

*******************************************************************

                Plunging right into a serious part of  dialogue practice I can say the following:
After a time of dialoguing we can better understand how a certain opinion or assumption of another participant has come to be held. That's serious isn't it? Have you never thought to yourself, "How can that person have such a belief or opinion!?"

*******************************************************************

            Dialogues of the kind I have been speaking of have been called Dialogue For Peace, Magic Table Dialogue, Fair Fighting dialogue, and just plain Dialogue Practice.  I have thought of calling it Dialogue For the Creation and Preservation of Culture, but have not done so until just now. This practice has also been call a Listing Practice.

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                I have been writing these bits about dialogue as though we were the dialogue practitioners and plan to continue doing so.

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                We will bring our assumptions to our dialogue for peace practice group for it is impossible not to bring them. Those assumptions will come up.  Our purpose  is not to judge them, not to suppress them, not to believe them or to disbelieve them.
Our purpose is not to see them as good or bad. Our purpose is to listen for them, to hear them, to recognize them, and to accept  their  existence.

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                There are lots of rules for good dialogue practice, but not much enforcement of those rules. One may take them as very valuable suggestions. 

******************************************************************

                The idea in our practice group is not to change anyone's mind.
The aim is try to see  what each assumption means. The purpose is to understand the experience which gives a particular assumption it's birth and which supports it 

****************************************************************

                So we are here coming to see that dialogue practice entails a listening practice of a group of listeners. One person talks for a bit and gets to be well heard. Than another talks and is well heard. We all become better listeners. Some  have mistakenly thought that a dialogue practice is only for and between two persons. In our dialogues there are many great listeners who all listen to one person at a time.  You will be that person who is well listened to and well heard.

                Thank you reading. Your visit is important.

 

 

                                                                                    RCS

 


Assumptions in Our Dialogue Practice

Dialogue With RCS: The question of assumptions for those who have begun the practice.

 

                Assumptions may not be the top reason for your interest in dialogue. Neither are they among the first human behaviors that drew me to dialogue. However, the greater my experience with the practice of dialogue the more important I saw my assumptions, and those of others, to be.

Below is a list of observations related to assumption:  

~ An assumption is much like an opinion or belief and probably as important.
~ As assumptions come up in our dialogue we avoid believing or disbelieving them.
~ Many of our assumptions are unconscious.
~ We want to better know what each assumption means.
~ Many of us want to more of the experiences which lead to the creation of  of the assumption. We want to know what is on each others' mind while keeping our conclusions and judgments in abeyance. 
~ We can each take in many assumptions and not our personal reactions to each of them.
~ We want to keep our dialogue on a level whereat our assumptions come out somewhat freely.
~ We what assumptions to be out where we can where we can all look at them with little discomfort.
~ In Magic Table Dialogue we put them on The Table as gifts from which each and all of of us can take as much and as many as we wish.

                     Thank you for your visit.

                Try searching this blog using "Labels" in right hand column.


                                                                                                      by Richard


Friday, December 17, 2021

Dialoguers Do it Better

Dialogue With RCS: some ground rules for group dialogue practice



1. Treat what you hear in confidence.

2. Others have the right to believe and feel differently from you.

3. Others have he right to express their beliefs.

4. You do not have to believe as others do.

5. Treat others with the respect that you expect for yourself.

6. While others speak, do not interrupt.

7. Share your own views from your own experience.

8. Do not pressurize anyone into speaking.

9. All participants' views and ideas have value. 


These rules have been useful for one group. They do not have to be mine or yours.


Other posts with information about dialogue include the following:




by R. Carroll Sheehan
 


Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Not a Public Forum

Public forums are great. Our dialogue practices are social, but usually not public. They are more focused on meaning and understanding than is much of our discourse.  


             A public forum is of great value to a people. It is a place for news and information to be exchanged, and may be a place to convince others of the value of one's positions. It may even be a place for economic or religious contention. Such forums are important tools of democracy, nation, and community.

        Members of dialogue practice groups often support public forums. The public forum is a place for the practice of free speech wherein the limits are so broad so that it seems that anything goes. The debate found there is often valuable. Our practice groups are less interested in bringing another to our point of view and more interested in truly understanding the meaning of what the speaker has said.

        In our dialogue groups we aim for higher levels of meaning, understanding, and ability to think together. We aim for greater respect and valuing for the assumptions and opinions of others. With appropriate modesty, we aim to better understand the meaning what others are saying for us.

        We like our group to be inclusive. We are interested in sharing peace, meaning, and understanding. In our groups we practice talking among ourselves using rules for, and ways of,  carrying on our talk effectively.

        To beginners our talk sometimes seems purposeless. We seem to have no agenda, to have little authority or hierarchy. However, with our rules, ways, and skills, we limit fear, anger, and contention as we enhance understanding, meaning, and peace. At times we are pleasantly surprised by evidence of a new power of thinking together.

        Check out the other posts on this kind of dialog on this blog. A new post is on the way.

        Thank you for reading.

        

                                                    by Richard Sheehan 
                    

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Assumption: "Talk is cheap"

 A new kind of effective dialogue is being practiced and I have been posting about it.     

                  Let me repeat just a bit about the nature of our dialogue before writing about "assumptions," an important concept for those who advance in dialogue practice.
 
                    A useful size for a dialogue group can be about 28, with considerable flexibility. A couple alone can benefit from its practice. Groups of 40 or more change in nature and come to be more of a demonstration group and calls for facilitators.   
 
                    This kind of dialogue is a unusually effective and needed way of communication. It takes some practice to learn to work it. However,  much can be learned about it right here.
 
                    A happening that is proving important in our practice is "assuming."  An assumption is much like an opinion, but one may be less aware of it. We have found that it takes some effort to put our learning about assuming into practice. It is not even easy to keep in mind that assumption can be active in our talk even when we are not aware of their activity. So, how are we to be aware of the assumptions of those we are talking with.  
 
                    Even so, we find our growing awareness of assumptions very interesting; very interesting, valuable, and enlightening.   
 
                    So, yes, there are those who are finding the benefits of 
practicing our "new" kind of dialogue. You can place yourself among them.
 
                    If you care to think of this dialogue practice as a kind of schooling you may see us as working at a kindergarten or primary school level. That is true, but our vision extends to beyond the post graduate level.

                    Assumptions are probably not among your top reasons for an interest in dialogue. They were not among the first human behaviors which drew me to the dialogue. However, as my experience with dialogue has grown, the more important I see our assumptions to be.

                    The list which follows deals with assumptions and how their workings can effect our talk and understanding:
~ Assumptions are learned much as beliefs and opinions are, from experience, our own experience and that of others.
~ As assumptions appeared to be mainly learned from experience, we are learning that, for example, the more one understand of her experiences and how she has interpreted them, the better are our chances for for respecting and loving her fairly and truly. The same seems true as we become more aware of our own experience and how we interpret it.
~ As assumptions come up in our advanced dialogues, we find it useful to avoid believing them or disbelieving them. We have found it best to first come to better understand them.
~ Our assumptions are often an important part of who we are. We tend to want to defend them, but have found it best not to try to defend our own and very important to avoid attacking those of another.
~ We are becoming more willing to know more of the experiences which led to the creations of an assumption of our own and that of another member of the group. No one has to feel obligated to share an experience, but a time may come when it is useful to do so.
~ We find that we can take in many assumptions and privately note our reaction to each of them and so come to know more about our-self as well as he who shared an assumption.
~ We do want to come to a dialogue level whereat assumptions can come up and out somewhat freely in advanced meetings.
~ We would like assumptions, our own and those of others, to come out where we can all look them over and understand them in some comfort.
~ Many of our assumptions are unconscious or pre-conscious. We find it beneficial to become aware of them.
~ We feel that knowing the meaning of each assumption helps us appreciate the opinions and positions of others.

                    A practice group may meet weekly for a year without a mention of an assumption and still learn much and realize much progress. Even so, most who continue their practice, come to feel the power an importance of assumption in their lives and in society. The become please to be aware of them as the come up in their group.

                    More about the nature and the practice of dialogue to come. Have you taken a look at the other posts on this blog?

                    Just below the end of this post you can find the word "comments" or even "no comments." By clicking their you can find a place questions and comments about the content above and even add to it! Please do so.
 
                    Thank you for reading.
 
 
                                                       Richard 
 

              

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Dialogue Practice: Hints for the success of your group

 Their are lots of rules, suggestions, and hints for effective dialogue dialogue practice. Let's call the few below hints:

~ In the very beginning it helps to have 7 or 8 interested persons willing to commit to 3 or 4 consecutive meetings.

~ During practice a person practices directing her words to the group as a whole and not to one or a few members at a time.

~ Remember that the speaker is likely to be doing his best to be honest.

~ You will have more than one turn. Avoid interrupting another. It uses the speaking time of others and reduces the effectiveness of your practice.

~ Keep expenses to a minimum. Everyone helps to take care of necessary expenses. Do your part.

~ Listen well to that which another is saying. Try to hear what she intends to say. Improved understanding is your aim.

~ Practice listening well and gain more powerful skills for hearing and understanding.

~Encourage each member to use his opportunity to say something at each meeting. The words of each member are gifts to each of us.

~ Usually limit speaking time to one or two minutes. It is great to have time to be heard more than once at a meeting. And, with your help there will be more meetings.

~ Remember that focusing your words on the topic and on your personal experience is good practice.

 

               These hints are for keeping your practice pleasant and effective. 

                Thank you for reading.



                                                            RCS


Friday, September 24, 2021

Terms for the Dialogue

Here are a half a dozen terms I have used to write of our dialogues.

I have written a few words about each to remind you about their meanings.

Assumptions:
We have differing experiences and so differing opinions and assumptions.We have differing views because of who we are. We often come to interpret our worlds differently from one another. We develop conscious and unconscious ideas about the ways of the world which are difficult for others to understand until they know more of our experiences.

Defending:
Without the abundance of shared cultural meanings good dialogue brings, it is unreasonable to expect a peaceful society. Defending our own or another's opinions keeps us from laying out our assumptions were we can all look at them and try to appreciate their meanings  and so keeping us from productive and satisfying dialogue we want an need. It is shared deeper meanings we seek. Also defending our assumptions consumes the energy we could better use to achieve a clear understanding  of the assumption of another.

Go-under:
Without good dialogue we are likely to miss opportunities and lose understanding s. We are likely to miss out on good positions, to go under and lose out as individuals, corporations, families, nations, churches, parties. The shared meaning we gain in good dialogue helps us , maintain, grow, and strengthen party, church, nation, family, corporation, and self.

Coherent:
For many, an important benefit of dialogue practice is experiencing the power of collectively shared meaning. Most ordinary talk in in society may well be called incoherent. Our dialogue practice is designed to promote areas of  coherence in the vastness of misunderstanding. The meanings we share a cohesion of understanding.

Group: 
Fora truly effective dialogue of of sufficient variety of viewpoint A group of between 15 and 40 seems optimal. It is possible to do preparatory work with a dedicated, active organizing group of say nine may be adequate. A long lasting group with regular meetings is called for.

Thinking Together:
Is a frequent result of a dialogue group and ought perhaps be a aim of your group. We learn to stay close to the same page and to carry each other's thoughts forward. Individuals sharing common meanings in a coherent way have power for peace and creativity. Thinking together coherently calls for dialogue sustained  long enough to to share a body of coherent meanings. 

You strengthen culture, create it enjoy it, and pass it on.



By Richard for You








 

The Dialogue for Effective Practice of a "Second Language"

We have called it a Magic Table Dialogue group. It could be called a Dialogue for Peace. It can also be an English language practice group, or a great way to practice any language.

As an English Language practice group our dialogue is a very productive way to practice any level of English. The beginning learner has a focused, listening practice, a focused hearing practice, important steps to good pronunciation skills.  At the same time the beginner is getting contextual understanding practice.

This practice group can be of considerable interest to a native speaker of English. Such an English speaker can learn fun, empowering, culture enhancing rules of Magic Table Dialogue. He, or she, can also learn dialogue for peace skills for dealing with and appreciating the assumptions and opinions very different from his own. She can also make friends with individuals of a language and culture from her own.

A typical earner of English can build his or her word power by hearing targeted words in context. Sh also learns to hear the pronunciation, enunciation, and accent of a variety of English speakers. She will hear a number of persons each speak a given word in their own way. A learner may choose to listen for, say, pronunciation or she may choose to focus on contextual meaning. Practice is the main aim here.

Each participant also has opportunities to speak and to be heard. A speaker will have his speech heard by a very interested group of listeners. A speaker will be closely listened to as she expresses herself.

Our dialogue is not a substitute for your other language studies. It is very appropriate supplementary practice. 

You can learn more about our kind of dialogue by searching for posts such as:
"Dialogue Terms"
"Dialogue Practice Notes"
"Our Dialogue as a Productive Way to Practice English"
"About Dialogue Practice" 
"Dialogue Practice One" 

What's in it for you?
~ You can learn dialogue skills and get great productive practice in the use of English.
~ You can improve your listening skills.
~ You can practice hearing and understanding what is said.
~ You can practice using English with a group of persons of importantly similar interests.
~ You can practice using a language other than your own.
~ You can improve your understanding of a people and a culture.
~ You can experience many people listening to you with interest.
~ You can get to know others well in a safe atmosphere. 
~ You can learn to be understood as you speak English.
~ You can learn to be better understood by a variety of English speakers.

I believe that you can come up with other advantages and benefits available to you in our program of practice.



by Richard Sheehan









 

Dialogue Practice: what it is about and what it is not about

DialogueWithRCS, Dialogue practice is a way to:

~  peace and good will.

~  see our words as gifts to others.

~  an activity which helps us to be us.

~ better understanding and cooperation through the meaning of word.

~  an honest, supportive activity.

~  greater awareness and enhanced consciousness.

~  develop new listening and speaking skills.

~ practice more effective methods of communication. 

~  preservation, growth, and creation of culture.

~  make a healthy, effective society more likely.

~  meet and know interesting persons.

~  put honest thoughts on the table where we can look them over an begin to find their meaning.

~ be heard.

~ find pleasure in speaking up.

~ understanding among us and within us.

~  exchange views and opinions.

~ satisfying relationship.

~ practice a "second" language.

~ more effective communication outside the group.

~ share experience.

 

Dialogue practice is not is not a,:

~  not a place to make a particular point or idea prevail.

~ not a debate or discussion.

~ not a game to win or lose.


According to Dr. David Bohm, dialogue practice is:

~ participating in a flow of meaning between us, through us, and among us.

~ a activity out of which emerges new and renewed understanding.

~ an activity which helps us to be us.


                There is more to learn, understand, and practice, but with these few sentences we have made a good start.

                Thank you for reading.



                                                    RCS











Monday, September 13, 2021

Benefits of the Dialogue

Dialogue With RCS: more meaning in you your life, better understand others, a way to a better world, being listened to.             

                On this new blog I intend to continue a number of posts on a kind of dialogue with which you may be becoming familiar. Some churches, corporations, civic organizations, and others have been this sort of dialogue for years, so it is not brand new.
               
                For those who may not be certain of what I mean by dialogue, In brief, it is meaningful talk within groups.
                
                Below I will begin to note a few of the dialogue's benefits. As we are now on the internet I will say now that, I do not know of cases of the dialogue's being used successfully online. However, I believe that it is now possible to do so, but am not sure how. If you would like to suggest something the "comments" window below is for your use.
                
                As I know it the dialogue is best used face to face, in person. And seems most effective in groups of between 20 and 40 participants. Groups of 15 and less have been please with it. Much of it can be used to good effect between husband and wife. It has been used with groups with groups much larger than 40 with professional facilitators and more as a demonstration than as well functioning group. I would like to see it use online. 
                The following list is far from inclusive and not completely representative, but can serve to introduce something of the dialogue.
I am calling it the dialogue now, have called it Magic Table Dialogue and Dialogue For Peace.
                    

 Benefits include:

~ learning to make yourself heard.

~ being heard.
~ being listened to.
~ coming to enjoy being heard.
~ an opportunity for the practice of listening.
~ learning that dialogue is more than talk.
~ gaining motivation to listen.
~ improving your use of language.
~ practicing a language new to you.
~ learning new listening skills.
~ the possibility of getting in touch with traditions of knowledge new to you. 
~ getting to know yourself better.
~ getting to know an interesting other.
~ knowing new people.
~ having fun while realizing that the dialogue is a serious activity.
~ experiencing the creation of culture. 
~  increasing your word power.
~ Seeing how better dialogue can be a way to a better world.
~ sharing meaning and understanding.
~ the possibility of beginning an interesting new exploration with safe, comfortable "baby steps." Still there might come a time that you will want to take a step beyond your comfort zone.
~ improving your ability understand others, even those quite different from you.
~ learning more of the effect of assumptions in our lives.
~ the possibility of increased meaning and understanding in our lives.
                                     
                 More to come.

                There are about 50 little essays here. It's okay if you read a couple.

                Thank you for reading!



                                                                                                              RCS

 


 

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Dialogue Differently

  I write about a new kind of dialogue. It is mostly for groups of as small as 9 to groups of about 39. 

Below are some descriptive notes about what is, and what it is not. See other posts on the benefits of this more productive and satisfying way to communicate. It can work wonders with your husband and has been successful in some very large groups.

Our dialogue practice is not a:

~ place to make a particular point prevail.

~ debate or even a discussion. 

~ time to attempt to make points.

~ game to win or lose.

 

This new dialogue practice is a way to:

~ meaning and understanding.

~ an activity which helps us to be us.

~ through the meaning of word.

~ an honest, supportive activity.   

~ greater awareness and enhanced consciousness.

~ hone your listening skills.

~ develop new speaking skills.

~ effective methods of communication. 

~ cultural preservation and creation.

~ make a healthy, effective society more probable.

~ meet interested people in an interesting environment.

~ put honest thoughts "on the table" where we can look at them and begin to find their meaning.

~ be heard.

~ find pleasure in speaking-up.

~ understanding among us and within us.

~ satisfying relationship.

~ exchange idea and opinion more safely. 

~ share experience.

~ more effective communication beyond the group.

~ practice a "second" language.

~ peace and good will.

~ to see our words as gifts.


According to Dr. David Bohm a similar dialogue practice is:

~ participating in a flow of meaning between us, through us, and among us.

~ an activity out of which emerges new and renewed understanding.

~ an activity which helps us to be an us.


Could you find a way to practice a dialogue of this sort? Could you practice a dialogue more of this sort in your group?

You can open a window below to make a comment, a suggestion, and ask a question. You might have to click on where where "no comment" is printed below.

Thanks for reading.





 

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Dialogue Groups: First Moves

                 Having read other posts on this blog you may have begun to think that you want to start a a dialogue practice group. You may even have the beginnings of such a group. You may have begun to consider the purpose of such a group. Maybe you have had thoughts of sharing thoughts about the nature of groups in general or about the nature of a dialogue practice group. Or, maybe not. Even so, Let me make some suppositions.

                You may decide to come together with two or more interested persons as the beginnings of a pilot group. You decide when and where to meet and if others ought to be invited.You propose to come together to discuss the nature of your proposed dialogue practice and practice group.                 

                 You do actually meet and decide to meet again! At this second meeting you might decide decide to have a seminar or two about dialogue and dialogue practice. You fix a date. You may decide to invite a couple of more prospective members. Deciding to come together to talk about the dialogue is a big step. You have begun to create a power nexus. If power nexus does not sound right, try energy center. As an aunt of mine used to say, "Beginning is the half of it."

                You can begin to to consider together how you want your dialogue practice group to look. It could be useful to visit a library or go online to do some focused checking  about the nature of dialogue and dialogue practice. A couple of members could volunteer to this and report to the group at the next meeting. Another member could review the info here on this blog.

                It is probably time to set a regular meeting time an place. Certainly at each meeting the time a place of the next meeting ought to be clear to each and every member. The purpose of the next meeting should be known and discussed at the present meeting. In fact the purpose and the nature of your meetings ought to be mentioned at each meeting. Another important action for present meetings perhaps ought to be to outline the look and nature of your intended dialogue practice.

                Those deciding to continue to meet may volunteer to come with recommendations of videos, books, and online resources related to the dialogue and its practice. Others might decide that they can share at a meeting that which they have in mind about the practice. At this point you are on your way to having an effective practice group.

                The next meeting might be about how you will actually practice. It might seem right to discuss how the practice ought to look or feel and of why it ought to look and feel that way. It may be right to recall together that which brings you together. Also some sharing about what it is that keeps your group together, to say what makes it fun and useful.

                Some members may decide that the group is not for them. It may be time for some active recruitment. 

                You can find more about the benefits of the practice in other posts on this blog. The posts are here on this blog for your use. I believe I have recommended a couple of books in posts on this blog. You can find some hints about how to practice on posts here. You can find a few simple and important rules to practice and perhaps a law or two.

                Expect to begin to feel the growth in your common understanding of groups, the dialogue, and of the dialogue practice. You will become ready to develop your actual practice. You will want to continue returning to your common understanding of how to keep your group and practice effective. It may be time to consider your recruitment plans and activities. I suggest that you continue recruiting so long as you have fewer than 30 or 40 active members.

                 I have a plan for the structure of a dialogue practice which I will lay out when their is interest.

                Are you pleased to be sharing thoughts about the dialogue with your group? Are you ready for your group to to begin actual practice? What needs to be done to get to where you want to be?

                I expect to add, on the average, one post a month to this blog. I will post more if specific interests are expressed. So there will be more about methods, goals, benefits, and answers to specific questions. 

                I feel I have rambled on about enough for now. So I will close now with a few words about what the practice is.

                 The practice is a way to meaning, understanding, coherence, peace, and to new skills and satisfactions. Its new, but its old. Others around the world are practicing it. They are practicing, learning, and developing powerful and pleasing new skills and abilities.

                I have not been as clear as I wished and may have raised more questions and been less clear than I hoped to be. Please help me to clarify this post and correct errors. There is a "comments" section below where you can add information, ask questions, make suggestions, and comment. The place to click to open the comments section may read "no comments," click on it anyway.

 

 

                                                    RCS

 


 

Thursday, August 5, 2021

For Successful Dialogue Practice


Try the following:
  • Address the group as a whole. Avoid directing your words to one or two people.
  • Remember that it is most useful to listen, hear, and understand.
  • Avoid giving advice.
  • Remember that a speaker is Probably doing her or his best to be honest.
  • Avoid interrupting another. Your group has a way of dealing with those who who damage your practice.
  • Keep expenses to a minimum. Everyone helps to take care of necessary expenses. Do your part.
  • Everyone helps with the expenses as they can.
  • Really listen to what another is saying. Improved understanding is a major aim of your group.
  • Learn to listen well. You will gain greater listening skills.
  • Encourage everyone to to speak at each opportunity. The words of each are gifts for us all.
  • Usually limit speaking time to one or two minutes. It is great to have time to speak more than once at a single meeting.
  • Remember that focusing dialogue on personal experience is good practice.
  • In the very beginning get 7 or 8 interested persons to commit to 3 or 4 consecutive meetings.

Monday, August 2, 2021

Dialogue: A More Effective Practice Group

             The writing of the following list of hints began while I was thinking of the problems which can come up at the beginning of some groups. Some of the problems can brought on by a facilitator

        A facilitator might truthfully say that a good thing about these practice groups is that leadership can be widely shared in them. I believe that this is true and as it ought to be. The facilitator could have saved some confusion if he had added that the learning and practice of certain rules needed to take place before that wide sharing of leadership can successfully take place.

        Another problem or misunderstanding may be brought on by a facilitator saying that in no dialogue practice did a decision have to be made nor any problem solved, that the practice was the purpose. This is usually correct, but a facilitator may save confusion by adding a little more information. She could have added that each participant in a practice group has his personal reason to practice. And, have gone on to say that the practice is designed to develop, improve, and maintain skill in oral group communication. And even included that a goal of the practice may be to build the meaning and understanding among us with the hope of learning to think together.

            As you move forward you can expect to discover more benefits and reasons for your practice in the group.

            It can be worth your while to keep some of the coming hints in mind as you continue you with these posts and perhaps begin a practice group of your own. There is much to learn about the nature of the dialogue as you develop skills and gain the rewards of the practice.

            In  the hints below you can find help for you to benefit from your practice group and beyond. They can aid you in your learning the nature of effective dialogue and in getting in better touch with skills and attitudes. 


Here are the hints, take your time:

~ We found it best to meet weekly. Some found it good to meet more often at first. We found that meeting only once monthly not to be a good choice.

~ Expect to continue meeting again and again. Show up.

~ The practice is not a time to decide anything. You can have a business meeting to do that.

~ The beginning of a brand new group may accomplished with only 7 tentative members committing to attend to 3 or 4 consecutive meetings.

~ It may be time active recruitment when the membership drops below 30.

~ Your group is self-supporting so expenses an finances need be considered.

~ Two hours is a good length of time for a meeting. For example. a typical meeting might begin with 10 to 15 minutes of instruction or urgent business, then continue with 45 minutes of actual dialogue practice followed bay a short and another 45 minutes of practice. The aim is to give each member time to talk twice. Not easy.

~ An effective size for a group  my from 17 to 30 individuals. More than 40  lowers the quality of participation. With fewer than 17 there seems to be to little variety of participation and the needed variety of points of view is lost.

~ A truly effective group calls for a considerable difference of  life experience among the participants. There can be to much difference in experience and points of view. However, the more common case is too little variety. 

~ Group practice is designed for large differences of opinion and experience to be expressed and understood. No particular opinion need be taken as one's own.

~ From time to time there may seem to be a need to renegotiate a meeting rule or practice. But it is good to remember that most of the rules and methods have proven important for the maintenance of effective dialogue. Still when all members feel it is time for a a change in a particular practice that usually occurs.

~ As you meet and practice, assumptions usually arise. Some assumptions may seem mad, monstrously ignorant, or just incomprehensible at first. Great! This is your chance to achieve ne understanding. You can enjoy the satisfaction of coming to understand an assumption other than your own, or the satisfaction of others coming to understand one of yours.

~ Our purpose, as we face an assumption new to us, is to find out what it means and discover the experience from which it comes.

~ Our job is no to take the assumption of another as our own nor is it to convince another that ours is right and best. We want to understand the fellow participants reason for holding his. This  may be called getting to know that person. In this process new meaning and understanding may come into one's life.

~ We may learn to neither believe nor disbelieve an assumption, to neither suppress nor defend it, even should it be your own. Our practice is not a lace to find an opinion or assumption either good or bad. We would like to come to know how a person has come to hold that opinion even though even she is not sure why. We look at an assumption to see what it means and to understand it. I have  discovered an assumption of my own which I never new I held.

~ We would like to come to understand why a given assumption or opinion is held.

~ We want to se the meanings of assumptions including our own,

~ We may come to think that it is marvelous to learn about the experience which led to a given opinion or assumption.

~ We can begin a learning experience by taking in an assumption and noting our reaction to it, This may prove an excellent practice. It is also good practice to neither defend nor attack an assumption during our practice meetings.

~ It is, in a sense, very early to begin speaking of assumptions. I do so now because they are very often an important and sometimes a difficult part of our longer range learning. There is much to be learned about them and through them that can bring more meaning and understanding into our lives. Even so, there are many steps and much learning to complete before we need be much concerned with them. We have a lot to learn just about being heard and about listening.

~ You may come to want opinions to come up to where you can look at them. You may find it surprising to discover the depths of feeling they can stir. You will probably learn that it is best to improve your understanding of the meaning of an assumption before letting strong feelings within you to takeover, before defending or attacking.

~ We learn to share our opinions more freely and more modestly.

~ We may come to see us beginning to think together while retaining our own understanding. We begin to understand one another better. We may never agree on certain points, but we do come to better understand them. We begin to share more of our meanings.

~ We spend much less time and energy in defending our opinions.

~ Sometimes we may fid ourselves having a sort of game without winners or losers; a game wherein the goal is much like, "Keep the rally going."

~ We may find that one of us gets an idea and another of us extends it. Still another connects it to a related idea. The thought or idea would flow among us and others would see what is going on.

~ We come to better understand the important of this kind of dialogue, we may even come to see it as a culture sustainer and creator.


            You may soon have enough info about dialogue groups of this kind to consider finding one, forming one, or of asking another if they have ever heard of such a doing.

        More to come, perhaps from a different angle.



                            RCS