Dialogue Groups: First Moves

                 Having read other posts on this blog you may have begun to think that you want to start a a dialogue practice group. You may even have the beginnings of such a group. You may have begun to consider the purpose of such a group. Maybe you have had thoughts of sharing thoughts about the nature of groups in general or about the nature of a dialogue practice group. Or, maybe not. Even so, Let me make some suppositions.

                You may decide to come together with two or more interested persons as the beginnings of a pilot group. You decide when and where to meet and if others ought to be invited.You propose to come together to discuss the nature of your proposed dialogue practice and practice group.                 

                 You do actually meet and decide to meet again! At this second meeting you might decide decide to have a seminar or two about dialogue and dialogue practice. You fix a date. You may decide to invite a couple of more prospective members. Deciding to come together to talk about the dialogue is a big step. You have begun to create a power nexus. If power nexus does not sound right, try energy center. As an aunt of mine used to say, "Beginning is the half of it."

                You can begin to to consider together how you want your dialogue practice group to look. It could be useful to visit a library or go online to do some focused checking  about the nature of dialogue and dialogue practice. A couple of members could volunteer to this and report to the group at the next meeting. Another member could review the info here on this blog.

                It is probably time to set a regular meeting time an place. Certainly at each meeting the time a place of the next meeting ought to be clear to each and every member. The purpose of the next meeting should be known and discussed at the present meeting. In fact the purpose and the nature of your meetings ought to be mentioned at each meeting. Another important action for present meetings perhaps ought to be to outline the look and nature of your intended dialogue practice.

                Those deciding to continue to meet may volunteer to come with recommendations of videos, books, and online resources related to the dialogue and its practice. Others might decide that they can share at a meeting that which they have in mind about the practice. At this point you are on your way to having an effective practice group.

                The next meeting might be about how you will actually practice. It might seem right to discuss how the practice ought to look or feel and of why it ought to look and feel that way. It may be right to recall together that which brings you together. Also some sharing about what it is that keeps your group together, to say what makes it fun and useful.

                Some members may decide that the group is not for them. It may be time for some active recruitment. 

                You can find more about the benefits of the practice in other posts on this blog. The posts are here on this blog for your use. I believe I have recommended a couple of books in posts on this blog. You can find some hints about how to practice on posts here. You can find a few simple and important rules to practice and perhaps a law or two.

                Expect to begin to feel the growth in your common understanding of groups, the dialogue, and of the dialogue practice. You will become ready to develop your actual practice. You will want to continue returning to your common understanding of how to keep your group and practice effective. It may be time to consider your recruitment plans and activities. I suggest that you continue recruiting so long as you have fewer than 30 or 40 active members.

                 I have a plan for the structure of a dialogue practice which I will lay out when their is interest.

                Are you pleased to be sharing thoughts about the dialogue with your group? Are you ready for your group to to begin actual practice? What needs to be done to get to where you want to be?

                I expect to add, on the average, one post a month to this blog. I will post more if specific interests are expressed. So there will be more about methods, goals, benefits, and answers to specific questions. 

                I feel I have rambled on about enough for now. So I will close now with a few words about what the practice is.

                 The practice is a way to meaning, understanding, coherence, peace, and to new skills and satisfactions. Its new, but its old. Others around the world are practicing it. They are practicing, learning, and developing powerful and pleasing new skills and abilities.

                I have not been as clear as I wished and may have raised more questions and been less clear than I hoped to be. Please help me to clarify this post and correct errors. There is a "comments" section below where you can add information, ask questions, make suggestions, and comment. The place to click to open the comments section may read "no comments," click on it anyway.

 

 

                                                    RCS

 

 

For Successful Dialogue Practice

Try the following:

• Address the group as a whole. Avoid directing your words to one or two people.
• Remember that it is most useful to listen, hear, and understand.
• Avoid giving advice.
• Remember that a speaker is Probably doing her or his best to be honest.
• Avoid interrupting another. Your group has a way of dealing with those who who damage your practice.
• Keep expenses to a minimum. Everyone helps to take care of necessary expenses. Do your part.
• Everyone helps with the expenses as they can.
• Really listen to what another is saying. Improved understanding is a major aim of your group.
• Learn to listen well. You will gain greater listening skills.
• Encourage everyone to to speak at each opportunity. The words of each are gifts for us all.
• Usually limit speaking time to one or two minutes. It is great to have time to speak more than once at a single meeting.
• Remember that focusing dialogue on personal experience is good practice.
• In the very beginning get 7 or 8 interested persons to commit to 3 or 4 consecutive meetings.

Dialogue: A More Effective Practice Group

             The writing of the following list of hints began while I was thinking of the problems which can come up at the beginning of some groups. Some of the problems can brought on by a facilitator

        A facilitator might truthfully say that a good thing about these practice groups is that leadership can be widely shared in them. I believe that this is true and as it ought to be. The facilitator could have saved some confusion if he had added that the learning and practice of certain rules needed to take place before that wide sharing of leadership can successfully take place.

        Another problem or misunderstanding may be brought on by a facilitator saying that in no dialogue practice did a decision have to be made nor any problem solved, that the practice was the purpose. This is usually correct, but a facilitator may save confusion by adding a little more information. She could have added that each participant in a practice group has his personal reason to practice. And, have gone on to say that the practice is designed to develop, improve, and maintain skill in oral group communication. And even included that a goal of the practice may be to build the meaning and understanding among us with the hope of learning to think together.

            As you move forward you can expect to discover more benefits and reasons for your practice in the group.

            It can be worth your while to keep some of the coming hints in mind as you continue you with these posts and perhaps begin a practice group of your own. There is much to learn about the nature of the dialogue as you develop skills and gain the rewards of the practice.

            In  the hints below you can find help for you to benefit from your practice group and beyond. They can aid you in your learning the nature of effective dialogue and in getting in better touch with skills and attitudes. 

Here are the hints, take your time:

~ We found it best to meet weekly. Some found it good to meet more often at first. We found that meeting only once monthly not to be a good choice.

~ Expect to continue meeting again and again. Show up.

~ The practice is not a time to decide anything. You can have a business meeting to do that.

~ The beginning of a brand new group may accomplished with only 7 tentative members committing to attend to 3 or 4 consecutive meetings.

~ It may be time active recruitment when the membership drops below 30.

~ Your group is self-supporting so expenses an finances need be considered.

~ Two hours is a good length of time for a meeting. For example. a typical meeting might begin with 10 to 15 minutes of instruction or urgent business, then continue with 45 minutes of actual dialogue practice followed bay a short and another 45 minutes of practice. The aim is to give each member time to talk twice. Not easy.

~ An effective size for a group  my from 17 to 30 individuals. More than 40  lowers the quality of participation. With fewer than 17 there seems to be to little variety of participation and the needed variety of points of view is lost.

~ A truly effective group calls for a considerable difference of  life experience among the participants. There can be to much difference in experience and points of view. However, the more common case is too little variety. 

~ Group practice is designed for large differences of opinion and experience to be expressed and understood. No particular opinion need be taken as one's own.

~ From time to time there may seem to be a need to renegotiate a meeting rule or practice. But it is good to remember that most of the rules and methods have proven important for the maintenance of effective dialogue. Still when all members feel it is time for a a change in a particular practice that usually occurs.

~ As you meet and practice, assumptions usually arise. Some assumptions may seem mad, monstrously ignorant, or just incomprehensible at first. Great! This is your chance to achieve ne understanding. You can enjoy the satisfaction of coming to understand an assumption other than your own, or the satisfaction of others coming to understand one of yours.

~ Our purpose, as we face an assumption new to us, is to find out what it means and discover the experience from which it comes.

~ Our job is no to take the assumption of another as our own nor is it to convince another that ours is right and best. We want to understand the fellow participants reason for holding his. This  may be called getting to know that person. In this process new meaning and understanding may come into one's life.

~ We may learn to neither believe nor disbelieve an assumption, to neither suppress nor defend it, even should it be your own. Our practice is not a lace to find an opinion or assumption either good or bad. We would like to come to know how a person has come to hold that opinion even though even she is not sure why. We look at an assumption to see what it means and to understand it. I have  discovered an assumption of my own which I never new I held.

~ We would like to come to understand why a given assumption or opinion is held.

~ We want to se the meanings of assumptions including our own,

~ We may come to think that it is marvelous to learn about the experience which led to a given opinion or assumption.

~ We can begin a learning experience by taking in an assumption and noting our reaction to it, This may prove an excellent practice. It is also good practice to neither defend nor attack an assumption during our practice meetings.

~ It is, in a sense, very early to begin speaking of assumptions. I do so now because they are very often an important and sometimes a difficult part of our longer range learning. There is much to be learned about them and through them that can bring more meaning and understanding into our lives. Even so, there are many steps and much learning to complete before we need be much concerned with them. We have a lot to learn just about being heard and about listening.

~ You may come to want opinions to come up to where you can look at them. You may find it surprising to discover the depths of feeling they can stir. You will probably learn that it is best to improve your understanding of the meaning of an assumption before letting strong feelings within you to takeover, before defending or attacking.

~ We learn to share our opinions more freely and more modestly.

~ We may come to see us beginning to think together while retaining our own understanding. We begin to understand one another better. We may never agree on certain points, but we do come to better understand them. We begin to share more of our meanings.

~ We spend much less time and energy in defending our opinions.

~ Sometimes we may fid ourselves having a sort of game without winners or losers; a game wherein the goal is much like, "Keep the rally going."

~ We may find that one of us gets an idea and another of us extends it. Still another connects it to a related idea. The thought or idea would flow among us and others would see what is going on.

~ We come to better understand the important of this kind of dialogue, we may even come to see it as a culture sustainer and creator.

            You may soon have enough info about dialogue groups of this kind to consider finding one, forming one, or of asking another if they have ever heard of such a doing.

        More to come, perhaps from a different angle.

                            RCS

    

Dialoguers

 As dialoguers we tend to say that we need to listen, and not to exclude anything; but we can't listen to everything. The whole is too much. There is no way by which we can always get hold of the whole. It is the nature of our thinking to abstract, limit, and define.

You might want to check your favorite online dictionary for a full meaning of "to abstract."

Another act nearly impossible for any of us, is to comprehend the whole truth. So, as practical dialoguers, we need to keep aware that we can't hear everything and that we can practically never understand all that we hear.

As dialoguers it is best not to demand anything of our dialoguing companions. I do hope that we are most often trying to be honest.

As dialoguers we are not authorities. None of us is a father or a teacher of the group. There is a lot that we can learn from one another.

Difficult for new dialoguers to understand is that we seem to have no purpose or agenda, no goal or set destination, that we seem not to accomplish anything, or that nobody seems to have to agree on anything.

Group dialogue practice can be among the best facets of one's life. The practice puts more meaning, understanding, and peace within our reach. Positively.




by Richard Sheehan 

Dialogue Practice: What it is and what it isn't.

Dialogue With RSC: About the nature of this practice    

 Dialogue Practice is not:

~ a place to make a particular point prevail.
~ a debate or discussion.
~ an attempt to gain points.
~ a game to win or lose.

A dialogue practice group is a way: 

~ to an activity which helps us to be us.
~ through the meaning of word.
~ to an honest supportive activity.
~ to greater awareness an enhanced consciousness.
~ to hone our listening skills.
~ to develop new speaking skis.
~ to practice effective methods of communication.
~ to cultural preservation, growth, and creativity.
~ of making a healthy effective society more probable.
~ to meet interesting people in an interesting environment. 
~ of putting honest thoughts on the table where we can look at them and begin to find their meaning.
~ of being heard.
~ of finding pleasure in speaking up.
~ to understanding among us and within us.
~ to satisfying relationship.
~ to exchange ideas and opinions.
~ to share experience.
~ to learn to effectively communicate outside the group.
~ to practice a "second" language.
~ to peace and good-will.
~ for us to see our words as gifts.
~ to keep a stream of meaning flowing among us.

According to David Bohm dialogue practice is:
~ participating in a flow of meaning between us, through us, and among us.
~ an activity out of which emerges new and renewed understanding.
~ an activity which helps us to be an us.

 

                There is more on this site and more to come.

                Thank you for reading,

                

                                                             Richard Sheehan

What's So Special About Our Dialogue Practice?

Dialogue With RCS: The title above is just one of the questions people have had about our dialogue practice.

At first the answer seems to be "Not much; Mostly we sit around and listen." 
Then again it is amazing that such a practice exists. It is wonderful that it exists. It is a wonder that anyone shows up at our meetings.

Than too, there are very special facts like: Our dialogue practice builds and maintains cultures! It supports world peace and peace in Colombia. It broadens participants' understanding. It brings increased meaning into our lives! It helps husbands and wives to better understandings!

By checking out more posts on this blog you can find out a lot.

Here are a few other things which seem special about our dialogue practice just now.

~ It's old, but it's new.
~ We come to understand the opinions of others.
~ We feel that our practice is important.
~ We care little when nothing seems to be done.
~ We share meanings.
~ We may come to think together.
~ We sometimes find that our practice affects us at a deeper more beautiful level.
~ We become a better we.
~ We get to know important assumptions and opinions of others.
~ We become more skillful speakers and listeners.
~ Our understanding becomes broader, wider, and deeper.

~ It's for special every day people.

                More to come.


        

                                                                                                            Richard S.