Dialogue: A More Effective Practice Group

             The writing of the following list of hints began while I was thinking of the problems which can come up at the beginning of some groups. Some of the problems can brought on by a facilitator

        A facilitator might truthfully say that a good thing about these practice groups is that leadership can be widely shared in them. I believe that this is true and as it ought to be. The facilitator could have saved some confusion if he had added that the learning and practice of certain rules needed to take place before that wide sharing of leadership can successfully take place.

        Another problem or misunderstanding may be brought on by a facilitator saying that in no dialogue practice did a decision have to be made nor any problem solved, that the practice was the purpose. This is usually correct, but a facilitator may save confusion by adding a little more information. She could have added that each participant in a practice group has his personal reason to practice. And, have gone on to say that the practice is designed to develop, improve, and maintain skill in oral group communication. And even included that a goal of the practice may be to build the meaning and understanding among us with the hope of learning to think together.

            As you move forward you can expect to discover more benefits and reasons for your practice in the group.

            It can be worth your while to keep some of the coming hints in mind as you continue you with these posts and perhaps begin a practice group of your own. There is much to learn about the nature of the dialogue as you develop skills and gain the rewards of the practice.

            In  the hints below you can find help for you to benefit from your practice group and beyond. They can aid you in your learning the nature of effective dialogue and in getting in better touch with skills and attitudes. 

Here are the hints, take your time:

~ We found it best to meet weekly. Some found it good to meet more often at first. We found that meeting only once monthly not to be a good choice.

~ Expect to continue meeting again and again. Show up.

~ The practice is not a time to decide anything. You can have a business meeting to do that.

~ The beginning of a brand new group may accomplished with only 7 tentative members committing to attend to 3 or 4 consecutive meetings.

~ It may be time active recruitment when the membership drops below 30.

~ Your group is self-supporting so expenses an finances need be considered.

~ Two hours is a good length of time for a meeting. For example. a typical meeting might begin with 10 to 15 minutes of instruction or urgent business, then continue with 45 minutes of actual dialogue practice followed bay a short and another 45 minutes of practice. The aim is to give each member time to talk twice. Not easy.

~ An effective size for a group  my from 17 to 30 individuals. More than 40  lowers the quality of participation. With fewer than 17 there seems to be to little variety of participation and the needed variety of points of view is lost.

~ A truly effective group calls for a considerable difference of  life experience among the participants. There can be to much difference in experience and points of view. However, the more common case is too little variety. 

~ Group practice is designed for large differences of opinion and experience to be expressed and understood. No particular opinion need be taken as one's own.

~ From time to time there may seem to be a need to renegotiate a meeting rule or practice. But it is good to remember that most of the rules and methods have proven important for the maintenance of effective dialogue. Still when all members feel it is time for a a change in a particular practice that usually occurs.

~ As you meet and practice, assumptions usually arise. Some assumptions may seem mad, monstrously ignorant, or just incomprehensible at first. Great! This is your chance to achieve ne understanding. You can enjoy the satisfaction of coming to understand an assumption other than your own, or the satisfaction of others coming to understand one of yours.

~ Our purpose, as we face an assumption new to us, is to find out what it means and discover the experience from which it comes.

~ Our job is no to take the assumption of another as our own nor is it to convince another that ours is right and best. We want to understand the fellow participants reason for holding his. This  may be called getting to know that person. In this process new meaning and understanding may come into one's life.

~ We may learn to neither believe nor disbelieve an assumption, to neither suppress nor defend it, even should it be your own. Our practice is not a lace to find an opinion or assumption either good or bad. We would like to come to know how a person has come to hold that opinion even though even she is not sure why. We look at an assumption to see what it means and to understand it. I have  discovered an assumption of my own which I never new I held.

~ We would like to come to understand why a given assumption or opinion is held.

~ We want to se the meanings of assumptions including our own,

~ We may come to think that it is marvelous to learn about the experience which led to a given opinion or assumption.

~ We can begin a learning experience by taking in an assumption and noting our reaction to it, This may prove an excellent practice. It is also good practice to neither defend nor attack an assumption during our practice meetings.

~ It is, in a sense, very early to begin speaking of assumptions. I do so now because they are very often an important and sometimes a difficult part of our longer range learning. There is much to be learned about them and through them that can bring more meaning and understanding into our lives. Even so, there are many steps and much learning to complete before we need be much concerned with them. We have a lot to learn just about being heard and about listening.

~ You may come to want opinions to come up to where you can look at them. You may find it surprising to discover the depths of feeling they can stir. You will probably learn that it is best to improve your understanding of the meaning of an assumption before letting strong feelings within you to takeover, before defending or attacking.

~ We learn to share our opinions more freely and more modestly.

~ We may come to see us beginning to think together while retaining our own understanding. We begin to understand one another better. We may never agree on certain points, but we do come to better understand them. We begin to share more of our meanings.

~ We spend much less time and energy in defending our opinions.

~ Sometimes we may fid ourselves having a sort of game without winners or losers; a game wherein the goal is much like, "Keep the rally going."

~ We may find that one of us gets an idea and another of us extends it. Still another connects it to a related idea. The thought or idea would flow among us and others would see what is going on.

~ We come to better understand the important of this kind of dialogue, we may even come to see it as a culture sustainer and creator.

            You may soon have enough info about dialogue groups of this kind to consider finding one, forming one, or of asking another if they have ever heard of such a doing.

        More to come, perhaps from a different angle.

                            RCS

    

Dialogue of a Different Sort

An introduction to what I call the dialogue.

 

            There are kinds of dialogue. I intend to post about one of them. It is not the kind written into a novel or a film script. It is seldom used between two people, but can be. It is a kind of group talk which is rare today. It is a face to face communication that has come into use by some corporations and churches. It has been found useful for successful communication among persons of differing backgrounds. I have called it Magic Table Dialogue and a Dialogue For Peace. For now I will just call it the dialogue.

            The dialogue is a sort of practice. It is use to "create areas of coherence in the vastness of misunderstanding." I see it as doing just that, Another benefit of the dialogue practice is our experiencing the power  of collectively shared meaning. Yes, practice. I am writing about a practice. Much ordinary talk in our society may be called incoherent. The practice is an attempt to move us toward greater coherence.

            To learn to use the dialogue I write about takes practice. It takes practice to develop proficiency in its use. The dialogue and its practice has rules and skills to learn. The rules point to the nature of correct practice; perhaps a bit like at the gym or in yoga.

            A long range aim of the practice is learning  to think together coherently. An earlier aim could be called "effective listening." It might be called  listening practice, but it calls for the use of mind as well as ears. The satisfying power of thinking together may be begin with improved listening skills.

            Thinking together is not learned quickly and is not even much considered in early practice. Even so, it is a goal of the practice. It is a growing and learning process in which our individuality is respected and honored.

            There were times and places this kind of talk was more common. It became more uncommon and is still rare, but is experiencing renewal. It seems tome that it is urgent that more of us practice this dialogue and I intend to post more about it. It may be urgent for our benefit and the benefit of our world that we practice a more effectively honed, coherent communication. You can begin to practice more effective dialogue right now.

            You can learn to form a dialogue practice group for you and others.

            A dialogue practice group benefits and can thrive when its members strive for diversity and inclusiveness.

            For our well-being and, perhaps, our survival we need to better share our awareness and and experience, and become better able to talk more coherently together. Being able to talk more coherently enables us to better think together which enables us to do intelligently and effectively that which we deem necessary.

            That's it for now. This is the end of this little introduction. I intend to post more about the dialogue and its practice. Comment in the "comments" window below.

            Just talk can lead to action. Better talk can lead to better action. Very good talk can lead to really good action happening sooner.

                    RCS