A Good Time to Listen to One Another

                 Now is a good time to listen to one another and learn. It seems a good time to look over and to understand rather than to prepare to be ready to accept, reject, or to add add your point of view to the conversation.

Meaning and Understanding

                It seems that we to often lack something vital to our relationships. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We do not share enough clear meaning and understanding. Suffering this lack is not mandatory. We can share enough and get enough meaning and understanding through certain practices.

                Important among those practices are making or finding time and place to attend and listen with the intention of understanding that which is important to the speaker, of understanding that which is important to that speaker. Another important practice is making time for you to be heard and understood. These practices, along with a few others, helps us to have more meaningful understandings in our lives.  They help us to have well functioning and satisfying nations, marriages, towns, businesses, counties, societies, states, clubs, friendships, and human relationships in general.

Communication

                We have heard more than once that we have a problem with communication. The problem seems to be having enough positive communication which is effective. It may be that we first need to be willing to talk about the issue with the feeling and understanding that our talk will be properly effective. 

                

                Some of us have experienced talk so difficult that we cannot figure out where the other is ''coming from.''  Sometimes it seems to be madness that they could hold such an opinion. There arrives a situation whereat we cannot fathom how "they" came to such a conclusion. And, they have no idea of why we can't. We have a problem. That problem includes cases in which we have not understood why the do or do not consider ''that'' a problem.

The dialogue

                This difficulty calls for a different kind of dialogue. To understand what is going on, we need to better know who we are speaking with. We need to understand some of their life experiences. We need to recognize an assumption of theirs and we need a better understanding of how their real experience led to that assumption. This takes talk which is a little more careful than usual. Some dialogue skill is helpful. 

                 Dialogue skill comes with information and practice. You probably have already found that more information about the dialogue is available to you in other essays on this site.

Thinking together

                I have experienced a way of conversing that I began to call "thinking together." Early conscious experiences came in a few university seminars. Lately I have begun calling it "the dialogue." I have read about this kind of talk working in large assemblies and between two people. My experience with it has mostly in small groups. I suspect that

groups of over 40 or less than 5 lose much of their functionality.

                From the late 60s to into this millennium I continued some experience with such groups. Most often they included situations in which the sharing of meanings and understandings was an important feature. During this time I noted experiments, studies, and practices related to the dialogue. I came to find validation for my understanding of my experience. I read the works of others as the worked out practical understanding of the process. I was learning about the practice of a useful dialogue.

The dialogue

                The dialogue may seem new, but I suspect that it is ancient. I have begun to think that the dialogue may be valuable in itself and not just to specific ends. I believe that it help us to a happier, healthier, more abundant life through its ongoing use. It has proven its value as a way to coherent meaning and understanding, and in showing us an effective way for maintaining effective, satisfying relationships! It can even be a pleasant parlor game.

                In the dialogue of write of here, we tend to be and to remain independent individuals, with considerable equality of power, and with an understanding of a shared body of coherent meaning, and each with their own values. We come to a better understanding of why each of us hold certain assumptions and opinions.

Shared coherent meaning

                With a body of shared coherent meaning we are in a better position to respect on another and to cooperate with each other. We could become supporters and protectors of culture, or even creators of culture! The dialogue can move us closer to reality, mutual understanding, and mutual respect for our differences.

Doing it

                We can begin by sitting in round and listening to each other with the knowledge that we have some control over the topic. In the process, we sometimes begin to lay our own assumption or opinion on the table where we can all look at them. This laying on the table assumptions, meanings, values, and opinions on the table can become an important aim and doing of the dialogue. The dialogue was once called the Magic Table Dialogue. Find out more in the other essays on dialogue at this site.

                That is about it for now. I like to hear from you. You can contact me in the "comments" section below. Sometimes it says ""no comments;" click on it anyway.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                rcs  

Dialogue Terms

 Here are a half a dozen terms I have used to write of our dialogues.

                I have written a few words about each to remind you about their meanings.

Assumptions:

                We have differing experiences and so differing opinions and assumptions.We have differing views because of who we are.
We often come to interpret our worlds differently from one another.
We develop conscious and unconscious ideas about the ways of the world which are difficult for others to understand until they know more of our experiences.

Defending:

                Without the abundance of shared cultural meanings good dialogue brings, it is unreasonable to expect a peaceful society. Defending our own or another's opinions keeps us from laying out our assumptions were we can all look at them and try to appreciate their meanings  and so keepings from productive and satisfying dialogue we want an need. It is shared deeper meanings we seek. Also defending our assumptions consumes the energy we could better use to achieve a clear understanding  of the assumption of another.

Go-under:

                Without good dialogue we are likely to miss opportunities and lose understanding s. We are likely to miss out on good positions, to go under and lose out as individuals, corporations, families, nations, churches, parties. The shared meaning we gain in good dialogue helps us  maintain, grow, and strengthen party, church, nation, family, corporation, and self.

Coherent:

                For many, an important benefit of dialogue practice is experiencing the power of collectively shared meaning. Most ordinary talk in in society may well be called incoherent. Our dialogue practice is designed to promote areas of  coherence in the vastness of misunderstanding. The meanings we share a cohesion of understanding.

Group: 

                For a truly effective dialogue of of sufficient variety of viewpoint A group of between 15 and 40 seems optimal. It is possible to do preparatory work with a dedicated, active organizing group of say nine may be adequate. A long lasting group with regular meetings is called for.

Thinking Together:

                Is a frequent result of a dialogue group and ought perhaps be a aim of your group. We learn to stay close to the same page and to carry each other's thoughts forward. Individuals sharing common meanings in a coherent way have power for peace and creativity. Thinking together coherently calls for dialogue sustained  long enough to to share a body of coherent meanings. 

You strengthen culture, create it, enjoy it, and pass it on.



                                                                                                        By Richard for you.

Dialogue Practice Actions

What it is: a first look 

                In our dialogue practice there is no agenda in the ordinary sense. Our purpose, in large part, is the practice. The practice is the honest and just sharing of meaning and development of coherence.  We practice certain methods and skills for thinking together.

                Our present purpose is to practice skills and learn rules of effective dialogue. We hope that others will come to see how this mere practice builds and supports our culture even as we listen and speak.

                This Dialogue For Peace, this Magic Table Dialogue, this dialogue is mostly leaderless. We can practice it and share its benefits without leaders.

Suggested first steps

                To begin your dialogue you will need to talk with others about the dialogue. You will begin, probably, by talking it over, discussing why you are doing it, what it means, and how you want to do it. 

                Explore this site.

                More to come.

                Thank you for reading!


                                                                                    by Richard Sheehan

Space and Time for a Dialogue Practice Group

                    You can find space and time to let more meaning and understanding into your life. Dialogue practice can be a way to meaning, understanding, and more. You can find space and time to bring dialogue practice into your life. This blog deals with a kind of dialogue practice which you may find interesting and and more useful than you may imagine just now. This post deals with the nature of effective dialogue and its practice.

                    I have found that the practice works best face to face in a group. Such a dialogue practice group calls for a  designate space and time. The best space or place is often quiet and private. The best time is often a bit more than an hour at a time about once a week. The time a place is for the benefit of group members ought to satisfy them. Practice groups are best when open to a wide variety of participants. Groups are open, but the number of participants is best limited to less than 40 members. Also it is best when membership is 17 or more; however, successful groups have begun with fewer.

                    Group practice takes time a commitment. It be best done once a week for about an hour or two persession. This is best done forever, but few of us live that long. By using the hints and suggestions found here you can give your group a good chance for successful operation bringing powerful to skills to your members. With love, even a couple can benefit from the skills learned.

                    Again, time for your practice is important. A good goal to aim for might be to find a time good for 20 individuals to meet once a week for an hour and a half each session. A good aim might be to meet for 40 weeks each year.

                    Among the first steps an individual might take is to decide how she intends to show up for group practice. Another step is to actually show up. A great third step could be to arrange to attend complete practice meetings each week for the next couple of months.

                    As she continues her weekly practice sessions she may observe her dialogue companions becoming more effective listeners and more cogent speakers. She could see here companions speaking up, so as to be more successfully heard. She may also come to other members listening more attentively to a member speaking to the group. She might see her good friend in the group honestly express an opinion or describe and experience she has had. She will see fellow dialoguers developing and using new dialogue skills and and attitudes, before she herself becomes aware of her development.

                    With your help we can continue to review the benefits of our dialogue practice. I have read of independent groups practicing this kind of dialogue for a variety of reasons, including the belief that it maintains, strengthens, and creates culture! I have begun to mention a few of the benefits in this essay. Examples are that it can: bring more meaning and understanding to our lives, improve listening and speaking skills, underline the value of showing up, provide opportunity to observe a variety of speakers and listeners, give you the chance to be listened to, and we may discover more.

                    When your interest in this dialogue grows you can try to find a an active group near you. Or, if you know a couple of others who share your interest, you could form your own practice group. When you begin actual practice please feel free to report your experience by clicking on "comments" below. Also know that you are free to ask questions or to make comments whenever you wish.

                    Some simple doings have proven helpful. For example, it seems best to form a circle with chairs facing toward the center and so offering participants a good view of one another. In that circle one often begins to see that participants begin to look less and less to a designated authority and that they avoid building a hierarchy. In such a circle they experience getting to know in a way perhaps new to them.

                Participants in their own circle begin to want the words spoken there to be honest. They may even to see those words as gifts. The find that their words are listened to attentively and sometimes truly accepted as gifts. Participants share words and begin to find more meaning in that which is said. 

                Benefits of the dialogue are gained through practice. There are many ways to practice. Participants in the practice find that there rules(some correctly call them ways)which they learn, most of them are simple and important. They find that their are helpful suggestions available for making the practice more effective and more pleasant. Participants find that a significant number of those rules and suggestions are not completely new to them.

                Most practice is easy to do and easy to understand; even so, ongoing practice is important to making them yours. Some of the steps we take may seem very simple, but they lead to good effects and your group will benefit from them. It may not seem like a step, but an example is the practice of  appropriate respect and courtesy.

                Dialogue practice groups are usually open, but seldom public. Open means that nearly anyone can participate when their are chairs are available. When there are more than about forty individuals who want to participate it is best to consider starting a new group. (When you are interested in discussing this further you may use the comments section below). Seldom public, means that there are usually no observers; when practic begins doors are closed. A dialogue group is not a public forum. A public forum can be, among other things, a wonderful communication container. We can benefit from having and using public forums as we can from dialogue practice groups. However, our practice groups are for teaching our self a different and perhaps higher kind of  communication. 

                A dialogue practice group has ways, means, and aims different from those of public forums. Our ways include practice and democratic inclusion, our main means is our ongoing practice, our aims include bringing more meaning and understanding into our lives and achieving a better understanding of the assumptions and opinions of others. Participants are not interested in bringing others to their point of view. They are more interested in understanding the points of view of others. Some aim to better understand the power of thinking together. Nearly all find that they are listened to more closely than ever.

                You can explore this dialogue practice more by reading other posts on this blog and by communication with us by way of the "comments" app just below this posts. You may find that you can enjoy enhanced meaning and understanding in your life and at the same time engender a bit more peace in our world. You may also find yourself becoming a stronger and more effective individual as you develop and ability to think with another. 

                Thank you for reading.

                Bye for now.

                                                                                                   RCS

    

                    

Rethinking Governance Together

            We may be the best of friends, but it appears that we are too often also our worst enemies.

            It seems to me that we may not be to blame, but that we are responsible.

            Some of my rethinking of our situation follows below. If this work seems to lack some organization it may be because it reflects the state of my thought. However, it is my intention to be both honest and thoughtful. This is how I see it just now.

            We can come to understand what it means to "aim high" and that which it means to aim high enough.

            I believe that we are capable, and that together we can do enough well enough. I believe that we can better understand the nature of our language. We may be more aware of the importance of our words. We can help one another to improve our understanding the value of our words and our language.

            At the risk of sounding too academic I say that the quality of our understanding of the nature of culture in general and of our own culture in particular can be very useful to us.

            We can learn and help one-another to learn.

            We can come to better understand each other's meanings.

            Much of of that which we can do, we can do by ourselves, but it is often better done together.

            Much of our important learning depends on our words. This can be a problem because what a word means to one person often has a somewhat different meaning to another. For example, when one person calls another a "liberal" she may mean that person wastes money, while when he calls a person that he may mean that the person called liberal is happy to let other people be as they are. Others may use the word in very different ways. So, it can be useful to find out what an another sees as the meaning of our word. That seems to suggest that we may benefit by talking we mean and listening carefully to what the other means.

            For example, when I hear the the term "illegal immigrants" I may think of criminals. Another hearing the term may think of your great grandparents.

            As another example, when I hear the word "organized" used to describe people, I may think of a group empowering itself. Another may think of  crime. Even the word "power" suggests or implies different things to different people at different times in different places. Maybe we need to talk a bit more about the other guy's meanings or to listen a bit more to his understandings. 

            In governance and all of life we may benefit by practicing to think for our selves. We could also benefit by learning to think together and probably would.

            It is not difficult to see that words can be problematic. "Government" for some, means those other guys who are referred to as them. They seem to forget that even they themselves often practice government in governing the details of their personal lives. Some others forget that "republic" implies that we are responsible for our governance and others forget that "democracy" implies that we are the government. 

            By our talk, listening and speaking, we can help one another and each other to be less confused or mistaken by our words and perhaps to be more illuminated by them. 

            Some say that "information is power.'' Some say that information is more beneficial when it is contemplated to better reveal its meaning  and so that we may better understand its value.

            We can begin much just by the practice of giving ourselves good information. By that practice we give ourselves a good chance to gain more power to act in beneficial ways.

            Most of us agree that education is important, but do not keep aware that we are each responsible for our learning and that our learning results in our ongoing education. Many have believed that we are each responsible for our learning and education, but that it is OK to receive some help.

            Some say that the bliss of ignorance may lead us toward sickness and death. Some say that it may also lead to slavery and madness!

            I believe that we are each responsible for our own education. I believe that we are helped by our natural curiosity and urge to develop and grow. Some of us are helped by our God and our friends. Many of us believe that it is to help our children, our youth, and each other to learn the useful, the good, and the beautiful.

            All that we learn and know comes from the past. What you learned yesterday is history. We are very much our history. How to build a house is history. Your favorite song is history. Our culture is history. Some say all that is remembered from the past is history. All that we have learned is history. History is important. A lot of history is still in books. Some of our history has been made into stories. 

            We know very little of the future. However, from what we learn from our memory of past experience we can make some help guess about the future. Our understanding of our past has helped develop useful beliefs. With awareness and contemplation we can improve our understandings.

            We know that what we know of songs and love comes from the past and from our contemplation of our memories of the past. Our good ideas come from the past. It's good to remember that our bad ideas come mostly from the past. Our culture is from the past. That which we remember and and contemplate of the past is our history. Our history plus experience we do not remember nor contemplated is our culture. All that we know is history.

        As we know most of our history is in our books. Your reading of some of those books can be a source of power for you. You can learn to judge the value, usefulness, and truthfulness those books. That's good because a significant number of them have been written by liars and manipulators. Others have been poorly translated or interpreted.

            Still are reading can lead to our doing well. We can learn to bake an apple pie from a cookbook. It's all history.

            For most of the history of the USA we have been responsible for the schooling of our children and youth and doing completing that responsibility at a local level. For the last several generations many of us in many school districts have not been carrying out that responsibility very well. We have not adapted well.

            

            We have not understood our responsibility well for generations. We had very good reasons for neglecting our duties, but that ignorance and neglect was not good for us. I must add that there remained some good schooling and some good advances in methods, but they didn't get shared widely enough

              Soon after the schooling began in the USA, we formed schoolboards with parents and other interested citizens. Those schoolboadrs were formed in local districts close to home. For good reasons after a time many parents and others did not show up to keep them running well. In the beginning, we decided together what was to be taught and how it was to be learned. The story of US education is long and somewhat convoluted. Still I can say that local interest and cash fell short in many school districts especially in larger cities. School officials and other citizens sought help at the county and state level and finally at the federal level. They got help. That help had strings attached. Finally this help from afar often did little to help students or teachers.

            To this day many school districts suffer from ignorance of governance by local citizens.

            Government in republics is up to we the people. Seems we need to learn more about governance. Governance in republics with some intention of being democracy is not just our responsibility it must be us ourselves who govern.We have not leaned to be a democratic republic and we seem nearly unable to maintain a republic. I think this calls for some talking over. I think we need to listen to one another a lot and begin to decide what it is we are ready do. We could forget this experiment or even forget bring a we. I think our situation is worth a lot more dialogue and some coherent activity.

            I think that very many of us are capable of  useful co-opperation. We can practice that co-operation at a local level and a bit beyond right now. 

            Many agree that truth is important. It seems that honesty is an important part of truth. We can be honest and intend to tell the truth. Some, have call a propagation of a falsehood a source of insanity. I believe that enough of us can be honest enough to be a capable we.

            We can help each other to move towards reality, honesty, and truth and be better off for doing so. Does it help to say that truth is true no matter who believes it? Truth seems more of orientation than  destination. 

            We can learn the nature of social responsibility, how to recognize appropriate facts, how to co-operate to better effect. Let's consider how we shall do so.

            Today there are many parents whose parents went to schools not actively supported by their parents. In what condition are the schools of the children of those parents? We can learn and we have a lot to learn.

            We are not to blame, but if we are not responsible for our governance, who is?

        

            It seems that we have not practiced enough self governance for too many decades. When we are not responsible for our governance, who is? Nobody? Someone really nice? 

            As us we can do it, we can govern us.

            It will take some dialogue practice to make us a good enough us.

          Thanks for reading!

                                                                                        rcs   

                 

         

  

Find Out More About The Dialogue

 Dialogue With RCS: Its a group of us talking together in a better way

 

            Our dialogue practice is designed to create areas of coherence in the vastness of misunderstanding. Most ordinary talk in our society may be called incoherent.
Often a major benefit of our dialogue practice is to experience the power of collectively shared meaning.

            To learn learn our dialogue takes ongoing practice. This practice we have called The Dialogue, Dialogue For Peace, Magic Table Dialogue. 
 

            The dialogue has rules which call for practice to develop proficiency. The rules need not be rigid, but they do point to correct practice  which is important.

            The first practice may be called a listening practice, but it calls for use of voice, as well as ears and mind.

             A result can be thinking together the dialogue is aimed at thinking together coherently. Thinking together coherently calls for sustained dialogue. Thinking together is both satisfying and the source of a great power. We believe that it is well worth the effort to practice. Thinking together is a learning and growth process. It occurs consciously and also on an unconscious level. It may be expected to take on a renewed honesty. Thinking together is a learning and growth process. It occurs consciously and also on an unconscious level. It may be expected to take on a renewed honesty.

            There were times and places when this kind of talk as common, but these days it is uncommon. I believe that it is urgent that we practice this sort of dialogue now. It is urgent that we practice a more effectively honest communication. By we, I mean everyone willing to practice the dialogue. This "we" is inclusive.

            There is much more to say and make clear about this dialogue, but I may have said enough here for now. There is a good deal more on this blog now and there is more on the way. 

            This blog is designed to be interactive and I am hoping to be reading and responding to your comments about the dialogue soon. Questions and requests count as comments. Check out the "comments' section its just below. Click on the word "comments" or on "no comments."

            Thanks for your visit and for reading.

 

 

                                                                                rcs

 

 

Terms for the Dialogue

Here are a half a dozen terms I have used to write of our dialogues.

I have written a few words about each to remind you about their meanings.

Assumptions:
We have differing experiences and so differing opinions and assumptions.We have differing views because of who we are. We often come to interpret our worlds differently from one another. We develop conscious and unconscious ideas about the ways of the world which are difficult for others to understand until they know more of our experiences.

Defending:
Without the abundance of shared cultural meanings good dialogue brings, it is unreasonable to expect a peaceful society. Defending our own or another's opinions keeps us from laying out our assumptions were we can all look at them and try to appreciate their meanings  and so keeping us from productive and satisfying dialogue we want an need. It is shared deeper meanings we seek. Also defending our assumptions consumes the energy we could better use to achieve a clear understanding  of the assumption of another.

Go-under:
Without good dialogue we are likely to miss opportunities and lose understanding s. We are likely to miss out on good positions, to go under and lose out as individuals, corporations, families, nations, churches, parties. The shared meaning we gain in good dialogue helps us , maintain, grow, and strengthen party, church, nation, family, corporation, and self.

Coherent:
For many, an important benefit of dialogue practice is experiencing the power of collectively shared meaning. Most ordinary talk in in society may well be called incoherent. Our dialogue practice is designed to promote areas of  coherence in the vastness of misunderstanding. The meanings we share a cohesion of understanding.

Group: 
Fora truly effective dialogue of of sufficient variety of viewpoint A group of between 15 and 40 seems optimal. It is possible to do preparatory work with a dedicated, active organizing group of say nine may be adequate. A long lasting group with regular meetings is called for.

Thinking Together:
Is a frequent result of a dialogue group and ought perhaps be a aim of your group. We learn to stay close to the same page and to carry each other's thoughts forward. Individuals sharing common meanings in a coherent way have power for peace and creativity. Thinking together coherently calls for dialogue sustained  long enough to to share a body of coherent meanings. 

You strengthen culture, create it enjoy it, and pass it on.



By Richard for You