Doing It

Ways of do this dialogue: 

                This dialogue may be done in a variety of ways. The ways possible may approach the infinite. It can be done beneficially in a great many ways. Ways that suit the needs of its members.

                Many of these ways have several doings in common. There maybe none of these ways which can be left out without affecting the groups effectiveness. The short list of doings which come to is to practice:

practice democracy.

inclusive participation.

live "face to face" listening and speech. listening skills.

saying something.

showing up.

                All the ways I have thought of for doing this dialogue call for a group of  people. Size matters, but a variety of sizes may prove effective. In most cases a group of over 40 participants will usually less less effective than a group of about 20. The dialogue can be useful for a married couple. A nine person group may do, but may soon feel the need for "new blood." 

The group:

                Ah, the group. This dialogue nearly always calls for a group. You may find that a group of about 17 participants can work very well. A group to be very useful ought to meet regularly. Meeting once a week for an hour or two can be great. One that meets once every three months may fall apart before the end of the first year. Members ought to share a common language, but do not need to be native speaks of that language. A dialogue group could have as a purpose, the practice of speaking a "second language."

                So, you may see that the purpose of your group can affect its make-up. The nature of your group can depend upon your purpose.

                A typical group will be doing some ongoing recruitment of new members.

                

The meeting place can be important to the practice of a dialogue group:

                The meeting place can be very important for nearly every group. The meeting place ought to be neutral so meeting at members homes can present problems. The place ought to be free from interruptions or any disruption and a minimum of discomforts. Also, for me, it is important that the area of the place be large enough to seat members in a single continuous circle. So, chairs are necessary and it is good that the chairs be of a similar nature.

                So it seems that something about the nature and setup of the meeting place ought to be included in the list above. The setup of the chairs is important

to the egalitarian nature of the meeting. The setting of the chairs contribute much to the quality of the dialogue and is part of the practice of democracy.

                It is most often best that the time a place of meeting be consistent. Each and every member needs to kept up to date as to that time and place.

                

As a matter of interest:

                I have my personal preferences for dialogue practice meetings. For example, I like a talking stick. Here at this blogsite are more than 50 essays about the dialogue and its practice. They are free for your perusal.

                This site has a month average of only about 400 viewers, though last month there were over 2,000 views. However, as this has one of my least viewed sites I have thought that it might be useful to combine it with my Governance With RCS site. Dialogue of some sort is probably vital for good governance. So, essays on democratic dialogue would not be out of place there. Have you thoughts on such a move? I'll try not to make any sudden moves.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                        rcs

Space and Time for a Dialogue Practice Group

                    You can find space and time to let more meaning and understanding into your life. Dialogue practice can be a way to meaning, understanding, and more. You can find space and time to bring dialogue practice into your life. This blog deals with a kind of dialogue practice which you may find interesting and and more useful than you may imagine just now. This post deals with the nature of effective dialogue and its practice.

                    I have found that the practice works best face to face in a group. Such a dialogue practice group calls for a  designate space and time. The best space or place is often quiet and private. The best time is often a bit more than an hour at a time about once a week. The time a place is for the benefit of group members ought to satisfy them. Practice groups are best when open to a wide variety of participants. Groups are open, but the number of participants is best limited to less than 40 members. Also it is best when membership is 17 or more; however, successful groups have begun with fewer.

                    Group practice takes time a commitment. It be best done once a week for about an hour or two persession. This is best done forever, but few of us live that long. By using the hints and suggestions found here you can give your group a good chance for successful operation bringing powerful to skills to your members. With love, even a couple can benefit from the skills learned.

                    Again, time for your practice is important. A good goal to aim for might be to find a time good for 20 individuals to meet once a week for an hour and a half each session. A good aim might be to meet for 40 weeks each year.

                    Among the first steps an individual might take is to decide how she intends to show up for group practice. Another step is to actually show up. A great third step could be to arrange to attend complete practice meetings each week for the next couple of months.

                    As she continues her weekly practice sessions she may observe her dialogue companions becoming more effective listeners and more cogent speakers. She could see here companions speaking up, so as to be more successfully heard. She may also come to other members listening more attentively to a member speaking to the group. She might see her good friend in the group honestly express an opinion or describe and experience she has had. She will see fellow dialoguers developing and using new dialogue skills and and attitudes, before she herself becomes aware of her development.

                    With your help we can continue to review the benefits of our dialogue practice. I have read of independent groups practicing this kind of dialogue for a variety of reasons, including the belief that it maintains, strengthens, and creates culture! I have begun to mention a few of the benefits in this essay. Examples are that it can: bring more meaning and understanding to our lives, improve listening and speaking skills, underline the value of showing up, provide opportunity to observe a variety of speakers and listeners, give you the chance to be listened to, and we may discover more.

                    When your interest in this dialogue grows you can try to find a an active group near you. Or, if you know a couple of others who share your interest, you could form your own practice group. When you begin actual practice please feel free to report your experience by clicking on "comments" below. Also know that you are free to ask questions or to make comments whenever you wish.

                    Some simple doings have proven helpful. For example, it seems best to form a circle with chairs facing toward the center and so offering participants a good view of one another. In that circle one often begins to see that participants begin to look less and less to a designated authority and that they avoid building a hierarchy. In such a circle they experience getting to know in a way perhaps new to them.

                Participants in their own circle begin to want the words spoken there to be honest. They may even to see those words as gifts. The find that their words are listened to attentively and sometimes truly accepted as gifts. Participants share words and begin to find more meaning in that which is said. 

                Benefits of the dialogue are gained through practice. There are many ways to practice. Participants in the practice find that there rules(some correctly call them ways)which they learn, most of them are simple and important. They find that their are helpful suggestions available for making the practice more effective and more pleasant. Participants find that a significant number of those rules and suggestions are not completely new to them.

                Most practice is easy to do and easy to understand; even so, ongoing practice is important to making them yours. Some of the steps we take may seem very simple, but they lead to good effects and your group will benefit from them. It may not seem like a step, but an example is the practice of  appropriate respect and courtesy.

                Dialogue practice groups are usually open, but seldom public. Open means that nearly anyone can participate when their are chairs are available. When there are more than about forty individuals who want to participate it is best to consider starting a new group. (When you are interested in discussing this further you may use the comments section below). Seldom public, means that there are usually no observers; when practic begins doors are closed. A dialogue group is not a public forum. A public forum can be, among other things, a wonderful communication container. We can benefit from having and using public forums as we can from dialogue practice groups. However, our practice groups are for teaching our self a different and perhaps higher kind of  communication. 

                A dialogue practice group has ways, means, and aims different from those of public forums. Our ways include practice and democratic inclusion, our main means is our ongoing practice, our aims include bringing more meaning and understanding into our lives and achieving a better understanding of the assumptions and opinions of others. Participants are not interested in bringing others to their point of view. They are more interested in understanding the points of view of others. Some aim to better understand the power of thinking together. Nearly all find that they are listened to more closely than ever.

                You can explore this dialogue practice more by reading other posts on this blog and by communication with us by way of the "comments" app just below this posts. You may find that you can enjoy enhanced meaning and understanding in your life and at the same time engender a bit more peace in our world. You may also find yourself becoming a stronger and more effective individual as you develop and ability to think with another. 

                Thank you for reading.

                Bye for now.

                                                                                                   RCS

    

                    

Dialogue: A More Effective Practice Group

             The writing of the following list of hints began while I was thinking of the problems which can come up at the beginning of some groups. Some of the problems can brought on by a facilitator

        A facilitator might truthfully say that a good thing about these practice groups is that leadership can be widely shared in them. I believe that this is true and as it ought to be. The facilitator could have saved some confusion if he had added that the learning and practice of certain rules needed to take place before that wide sharing of leadership can successfully take place.

        Another problem or misunderstanding may be brought on by a facilitator saying that in no dialogue practice did a decision have to be made nor any problem solved, that the practice was the purpose. This is usually correct, but a facilitator may save confusion by adding a little more information. She could have added that each participant in a practice group has his personal reason to practice. And, have gone on to say that the practice is designed to develop, improve, and maintain skill in oral group communication. And even included that a goal of the practice may be to build the meaning and understanding among us with the hope of learning to think together.

            As you move forward you can expect to discover more benefits and reasons for your practice in the group.

            It can be worth your while to keep some of the coming hints in mind as you continue you with these posts and perhaps begin a practice group of your own. There is much to learn about the nature of the dialogue as you develop skills and gain the rewards of the practice.

            In  the hints below you can find help for you to benefit from your practice group and beyond. They can aid you in your learning the nature of effective dialogue and in getting in better touch with skills and attitudes. 

Here are the hints, take your time:

~ We found it best to meet weekly. Some found it good to meet more often at first. We found that meeting only once monthly not to be a good choice.

~ Expect to continue meeting again and again. Show up.

~ The practice is not a time to decide anything. You can have a business meeting to do that.

~ The beginning of a brand new group may accomplished with only 7 tentative members committing to attend to 3 or 4 consecutive meetings.

~ It may be time active recruitment when the membership drops below 30.

~ Your group is self-supporting so expenses an finances need be considered.

~ Two hours is a good length of time for a meeting. For example. a typical meeting might begin with 10 to 15 minutes of instruction or urgent business, then continue with 45 minutes of actual dialogue practice followed bay a short and another 45 minutes of practice. The aim is to give each member time to talk twice. Not easy.

~ An effective size for a group  my from 17 to 30 individuals. More than 40  lowers the quality of participation. With fewer than 17 there seems to be to little variety of participation and the needed variety of points of view is lost.

~ A truly effective group calls for a considerable difference of  life experience among the participants. There can be to much difference in experience and points of view. However, the more common case is too little variety. 

~ Group practice is designed for large differences of opinion and experience to be expressed and understood. No particular opinion need be taken as one's own.

~ From time to time there may seem to be a need to renegotiate a meeting rule or practice. But it is good to remember that most of the rules and methods have proven important for the maintenance of effective dialogue. Still when all members feel it is time for a a change in a particular practice that usually occurs.

~ As you meet and practice, assumptions usually arise. Some assumptions may seem mad, monstrously ignorant, or just incomprehensible at first. Great! This is your chance to achieve ne understanding. You can enjoy the satisfaction of coming to understand an assumption other than your own, or the satisfaction of others coming to understand one of yours.

~ Our purpose, as we face an assumption new to us, is to find out what it means and discover the experience from which it comes.

~ Our job is no to take the assumption of another as our own nor is it to convince another that ours is right and best. We want to understand the fellow participants reason for holding his. This  may be called getting to know that person. In this process new meaning and understanding may come into one's life.

~ We may learn to neither believe nor disbelieve an assumption, to neither suppress nor defend it, even should it be your own. Our practice is not a lace to find an opinion or assumption either good or bad. We would like to come to know how a person has come to hold that opinion even though even she is not sure why. We look at an assumption to see what it means and to understand it. I have  discovered an assumption of my own which I never new I held.

~ We would like to come to understand why a given assumption or opinion is held.

~ We want to se the meanings of assumptions including our own,

~ We may come to think that it is marvelous to learn about the experience which led to a given opinion or assumption.

~ We can begin a learning experience by taking in an assumption and noting our reaction to it, This may prove an excellent practice. It is also good practice to neither defend nor attack an assumption during our practice meetings.

~ It is, in a sense, very early to begin speaking of assumptions. I do so now because they are very often an important and sometimes a difficult part of our longer range learning. There is much to be learned about them and through them that can bring more meaning and understanding into our lives. Even so, there are many steps and much learning to complete before we need be much concerned with them. We have a lot to learn just about being heard and about listening.

~ You may come to want opinions to come up to where you can look at them. You may find it surprising to discover the depths of feeling they can stir. You will probably learn that it is best to improve your understanding of the meaning of an assumption before letting strong feelings within you to takeover, before defending or attacking.

~ We learn to share our opinions more freely and more modestly.

~ We may come to see us beginning to think together while retaining our own understanding. We begin to understand one another better. We may never agree on certain points, but we do come to better understand them. We begin to share more of our meanings.

~ We spend much less time and energy in defending our opinions.

~ Sometimes we may fid ourselves having a sort of game without winners or losers; a game wherein the goal is much like, "Keep the rally going."

~ We may find that one of us gets an idea and another of us extends it. Still another connects it to a related idea. The thought or idea would flow among us and others would see what is going on.

~ We come to better understand the important of this kind of dialogue, we may even come to see it as a culture sustainer and creator.

            You may soon have enough info about dialogue groups of this kind to consider finding one, forming one, or of asking another if they have ever heard of such a doing.

        More to come, perhaps from a different angle.

                            RCS

    

Dialogue Practice: What it is and what it isn't.

Dialogue With RSC: About the nature of this practice    

 Dialogue Practice is not:

~ a place to make a particular point prevail.
~ a debate or discussion.
~ an attempt to gain points.
~ a game to win or lose.

A dialogue practice group is a way: 

~ to an activity which helps us to be us.
~ through the meaning of word.
~ to an honest supportive activity.
~ to greater awareness an enhanced consciousness.
~ to hone our listening skills.
~ to develop new speaking skis.
~ to practice effective methods of communication.
~ to cultural preservation, growth, and creativity.
~ of making a healthy effective society more probable.
~ to meet interesting people in an interesting environment. 
~ of putting honest thoughts on the table where we can look at them and begin to find their meaning.
~ of being heard.
~ of finding pleasure in speaking up.
~ to understanding among us and within us.
~ to satisfying relationship.
~ to exchange ideas and opinions.
~ to share experience.
~ to learn to effectively communicate outside the group.
~ to practice a "second" language.
~ to peace and good-will.
~ for us to see our words as gifts.
~ to keep a stream of meaning flowing among us.

According to David Bohm dialogue practice is:
~ participating in a flow of meaning between us, through us, and among us.
~ an activity out of which emerges new and renewed understanding.
~ an activity which helps us to be an us.

 

                There is more on this site and more to come.

                Thank you for reading,

                

                                                             Richard Sheehan