A Good Time to Listen to One Another

                 Now is a good time to listen to one another and learn. It seems a good time to look over and to understand rather than to prepare to be ready to accept, reject, or to add add your point of view to the conversation.

Meaning and Understanding

                It seems that we to often lack something vital to our relationships. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We do not share enough clear meaning and understanding. Suffering this lack is not mandatory. We can share enough and get enough meaning and understanding through certain practices.

                Important among those practices are making or finding time and place to attend and listen with the intention of understanding that which is important to the speaker, of understanding that which is important to that speaker. Another important practice is making time for you to be heard and understood. These practices, along with a few others, helps us to have more meaningful understandings in our lives.  They help us to have well functioning and satisfying nations, marriages, towns, businesses, counties, societies, states, clubs, friendships, and human relationships in general.

Communication

                We have heard more than once that we have a problem with communication. The problem seems to be having enough positive communication which is effective. It may be that we first need to be willing to talk about the issue with the feeling and understanding that our talk will be properly effective. 

                

                Some of us have experienced talk so difficult that we cannot figure out where the other is ''coming from.''  Sometimes it seems to be madness that they could hold such an opinion. There arrives a situation whereat we cannot fathom how "they" came to such a conclusion. And, they have no idea of why we can't. We have a problem. That problem includes cases in which we have not understood why the do or do not consider ''that'' a problem.

The dialogue

                This difficulty calls for a different kind of dialogue. To understand what is going on, we need to better know who we are speaking with. We need to understand some of their life experiences. We need to recognize an assumption of theirs and we need a better understanding of how their real experience led to that assumption. This takes talk which is a little more careful than usual. Some dialogue skill is helpful. 

                 Dialogue skill comes with information and practice. You probably have already found that more information about the dialogue is available to you in other essays on this site.

Thinking together

                I have experienced a way of conversing that I began to call "thinking together." Early conscious experiences came in a few university seminars. Lately I have begun calling it "the dialogue." I have read about this kind of talk working in large assemblies and between two people. My experience with it has mostly in small groups. I suspect that

groups of over 40 or less than 5 lose much of their functionality.

                From the late 60s to into this millennium I continued some experience with such groups. Most often they included situations in which the sharing of meanings and understandings was an important feature. During this time I noted experiments, studies, and practices related to the dialogue. I came to find validation for my understanding of my experience. I read the works of others as the worked out practical understanding of the process. I was learning about the practice of a useful dialogue.

The dialogue

                The dialogue may seem new, but I suspect that it is ancient. I have begun to think that the dialogue may be valuable in itself and not just to specific ends. I believe that it help us to a happier, healthier, more abundant life through its ongoing use. It has proven its value as a way to coherent meaning and understanding, and in showing us an effective way for maintaining effective, satisfying relationships! It can even be a pleasant parlor game.

                In the dialogue of write of here, we tend to be and to remain independent individuals, with considerable equality of power, and with an understanding of a shared body of coherent meaning, and each with their own values. We come to a better understanding of why each of us hold certain assumptions and opinions.

Shared coherent meaning

                With a body of shared coherent meaning we are in a better position to respect on another and to cooperate with each other. We could become supporters and protectors of culture, or even creators of culture! The dialogue can move us closer to reality, mutual understanding, and mutual respect for our differences.

Doing it

                We can begin by sitting in round and listening to each other with the knowledge that we have some control over the topic. In the process, we sometimes begin to lay our own assumption or opinion on the table where we can all look at them. This laying on the table assumptions, meanings, values, and opinions on the table can become an important aim and doing of the dialogue. The dialogue was once called the Magic Table Dialogue. Find out more in the other essays on dialogue at this site.

                That is about it for now. I like to hear from you. You can contact me in the "comments" section below. Sometimes it says ""no comments;" click on it anyway.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                rcs  

Learn to Organize as you Organize to Learn

 Co-operation:

                There is a hope among many that we can effectively co-operate for our mutual well-being; co-operate for the well being of our health, education, economy, civic life, and more. We know about co-operation, but too many of are out of practice.

Organize:

                In order to organize for fair and practical results, we need to learn to co-operate better than usual. Better co-operation takes talk which includes better listening and hearing; it most often takes face to face communication. To get on a well understood same track or same page usually takes an ongoing conversation or dialogue. Carrying on a dialogue effective takes some practice. Such practice takes place in a dialogue group.

Practice:

                You can practice such dialogue as we teach each other the nature of the dialogue, as we teach one another, say, active citizenship, self governance, participatory democracy, appropriate mutual trust.

Learn:

                Learning to practice the dialogue effectively can be an important first step to more effective co-operation. Learning to to use the dialogue is a very useful early step in many collective activities and may be vital throughout those activities. The practice of the dialogue makes us more understanding co-operaters and more effective doers. 

Dialogue:  

                Use of the dialogue is a great aid to organizing to learn, as we become more effective organizers. The dialogue leads us to be more meaningful listeners and understanders. It is a democratic way to think together so as to be thoughtful and effective individuals of useful action. It is a democratic way to think together so as to be free, thoughtful, and effective people of good and useful action. Powerful, beautiful, broadly meaningful, and good action results when you so will.

Action:

~ Powerful co-operation results for those who practice learning to more truly understand one another.

~ Practicing democratic listening results in more powerful understanding.

~ We develop powerful understanding by practicing the dialogue and so coming to better use it.

~ The dialogue is simple, but it does take practice.

~ The practice is effective when it takes place in a dialogue group.

~ I dialogue group begins when two people find a third person to practice with them.

Check out these two sites;

~ Governance With RCS

and

~ Dialogue With RCS

                

                Thank you for reading; may it lead to reasoned action.

                                                                                                rcs

                                                                                                        

                

            

  

                

Dialoguers

 As dialoguers we tend to say that we need to listen, and not to exclude anything; but we can't listen to everything. The whole is too much. There is no way by which we can always get hold of the whole. It is the nature of our thinking to abstract, limit, and define.

You might want to check your favorite online dictionary for a full meaning of "to abstract."

Another act nearly impossible for any of us, is to comprehend the whole truth. So, as practical dialoguers, we need to keep aware that we can't hear everything and that we can practically never understand all that we hear.

As dialoguers it is best not to demand anything of our dialoguing companions. I do hope that we are most often trying to be honest.

As dialoguers we are not authorities. None of us is a father or a teacher of the group. There is a lot that we can learn from one another.

Difficult for new dialoguers to understand is that we seem to have no purpose or agenda, no goal or set destination, that we seem not to accomplish anything, or that nobody seems to have to agree on anything.

Group dialogue practice can be among the best facets of one's life. The practice puts more meaning, understanding, and peace within our reach. Positively.




by Richard Sheehan