You Cannot Do the Dialogue Practice Alone

To do the dialogue you need another person interested In It.

        Two people can cooperate to find a third tentative dialoguer. As the two of you have your eyes open to finding a third and while you are alert to finding another you can make sure that you have something to offer that other. The main thing you can offer is very likely your experience with the practice.

            You already have much else to offer. You have that which you have read of the practice in the essays here. Before reading anything here you already knew a lot. For example you  knew something the courtesies of conversation and the nature of discussion. You know how to talk and about how you talk. You have some understanding of communication. You know a bit about that which interests you in "the dialogue." You have some ability to share some of what you have experienced or have understood with your dialouge friend and perhaps with the other you are looking for.

            You have probably come to understand that the dialogue is a live, face to face activity. You may not yet come to understand that it is a democratic activity. That is you are probably learning that it is an activity wherein we meet each other as equals. It is definitely an activity which we practice together. It is an activity wherein understanding continues to occur.

            So, there is some common understanding; and you have some understanding that you can share with dialogue friends. But the dialogue is a practice, an activity to be carried on. I have found some practical and productive ways to carry on this activity and have shared some of it in other essays available to you on this site. However, I am not sure that you are ready or interested in learning more. I believe that you have an important understanding of what I am writing about. However, I suspect that you could benefit a great deal more if you knew more about how to do  the practice. The way is important. There is more than more than one productive way to practice the dialogue and I am able to help you learn to use one of them very well.

            There are some dialogues skills and practices that you already know quite a bit about. You have some important listening skills and may learn more. You may find it easy to maintain quiet when another group member is speaking. You probably speak well and are certainly able to make yourself better heard and understood. I believe that you are able to discover more of the pleasure of actually understanding another.

            Actual practice is important. In a dialogue practice group we practice acting with good will toward all as we address all and also hearing each. We even practice generosity, forbearance, and tolerance. We practice attitudes of friendliness, kindness, and benevolence. We learn to practice with dignity and self respect. These are behaviors we are likely to have practiced in our daily lives so there is probably little need to discuss them before each practice. Still it is good to remember to practice these behaviors during each dialogue practice.

            As at a workout at a gym, most dialogue practices are not very unnatural or complicated, but there can be times they call on energy and attention.

            Dialogue practice can become more difficult for some when they find that dialogue group meets are a place: to help others learn to be heard and understood; where we learn to accept the reality of assumptions of others; whereat we come to recognize and understand the nature of an assumption of our own; we come to see the similarities between assumption and opinion; were we come to see the great value of ongoing dialogue; and even to see our words as gifts to others. No one can learn everything at once. That's why we have practice groups.

             The way has a simple beginning and the practice fits nearly everyone. All that is necessary is to show up and try to pay attention.

            However, a person in a dialogue group can choose to go far. To begin with a practice could include getting an opinions and assumptions out on the table where we can look it over. We can look them over with much interest and little passion. Our observation of the thought on the table can help us to see that which holds some importance for each of us. We may come to a better understanding of its source. We may never come to accept an opinion of another, we may come to understand how it was gotten and how it is held. The dialogue can be a way to deeper and more respectful common understanding.

            Some of the possible in dialogue practice may not do for anyone. But, some of the possible may do for a great many. Many find it great to learn not to speak too loudly in a group. Many find it great that their practice helps them learn to speak loudly enough and clearly enough to be well heard in the group.

            So, the dialogue is just communication of one person to another and it is not very like the dialogue we speak of being in a movie or a novel. I believe that the word dialogue is made up of "dia" meaning ''through'' or ''by way of" and of ''logos'' meaning ''word." So, the word does not have to be Greek to us. I take it to mean a way to common understanding by the way of word.

            Thank you for reading

                                                                        Richard Sheehan

            I do not have an editor.and my eyes are growing dim. Please feel completely free to correct any and all of my errors including those of sentence structure and certainly spelling.  Also I may need abundant where have just failed to make myself clear. I am grateful to hear any  of your comments.

                                                                Richard

    

More About the Nature of Our Dialogue

 What's our dialogue practice group good for? Some reminders follow. Some reminders about how the practice is done are also included.

            Well, they can be good for the energizing productive participatory democracy,for getting a step beyond getting on the same page together, for being an interesting parlor game, for practice in the use of a foreign language, and for a way of getting to know one another more deeply! It has been said that an important good of this dialogue practice is coming to better understand the words spoken by another in a democratic ambience can a central purpose of a dialogue practice group.

                I often consider that a central good of the groups is the development of listening skills and a more profound understanding of that which is being said. It is also pretty good as an opportunity to be listened to, heard, understood, and appreciated. 

                I have yet to see these groups worked well on line. Their activity seems best when carried on in face to face groups of less than forty. Live contact seems to be much more productively satisfying than does a virtual group. Productive groups are done seated in a circle of chairs. one person speaks briefly and listened to carefully. This process is dealt with more completely in other essays on this site.

                As usual come to practice with a variety of expectations which often undergo some change with practice. Most participants begin to know their practice companions and to feel comfortable in short order. Most also come to enjoy being well listened to. Others soon begin to feel some real pleasure in coming to better understand others. Some are surprised and the strength of the satisfaction they feel upon noting that they are listening better. Others find satisfaction in finding that they are better modulating and projecting their voices in this atmosphere.

                Later many practicants begin to discover how valuable the rules and practices they are integrating are. They begin to understand the nature of their values and to value them more deeply.

                Mostly the practice is simple and enjoyable.The practice is not complicated, but it does need to be practiced in order to enjoy its benefits. There are skills to be practiced and, probably, some attitudes to develop.

                The dialogue differs greatly from a gathering of 20 or so wherein ten may be speaking at once, little is heard, listening to much is impossible, and even the thread of a topic may not be maintained. That which is said is little understood or even heard. Participants may find little joy or value in the process.

                In the dialogue most of the process is listening and hearing with and active interest in understanding. Also the intention is that each and every participant gets and opportunity to speak and to be heard. This is not a time to "make a speech." But, most often there is a topic and each has a minute or two of quite attentive listeners. Most of our practice will be listening for understanding practice and certainly not a time for planning your response. The practice is mostly listening for greater understanding then is often usual. Understanding may be your reward and you will also have the pleasure of having your words listen to and come to be understood.

                I intend to respond to your questions and to your requests for explanations in future posts here.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                      Richard Sheehan           

 

         

         

    

A Good Time to Listen to One Another

                 Now is a good time to listen to one another and learn. It seems a good time to look over and to understand rather than to prepare to be ready to accept, reject, or to add add your point of view to the conversation.

Meaning and Understanding

                It seems that we to often lack something vital to our relationships. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We do not share enough clear meaning and understanding. Suffering this lack is not mandatory. We can share enough and get enough meaning and understanding through certain practices.

                Important among those practices are making or finding time and place to attend and listen with the intention of understanding that which is important to the speaker, of understanding that which is important to that speaker. Another important practice is making time for you to be heard and understood. These practices, along with a few others, helps us to have more meaningful understandings in our lives.  They help us to have well functioning and satisfying nations, marriages, towns, businesses, counties, societies, states, clubs, friendships, and human relationships in general.

Communication

                We have heard more than once that we have a problem with communication. The problem seems to be having enough positive communication which is effective. It may be that we first need to be willing to talk about the issue with the feeling and understanding that our talk will be properly effective. 

                

                Some of us have experienced talk so difficult that we cannot figure out where the other is ''coming from.''  Sometimes it seems to be madness that they could hold such an opinion. There arrives a situation whereat we cannot fathom how "they" came to such a conclusion. And, they have no idea of why we can't. We have a problem. That problem includes cases in which we have not understood why the do or do not consider ''that'' a problem.

The dialogue

                This difficulty calls for a different kind of dialogue. To understand what is going on, we need to better know who we are speaking with. We need to understand some of their life experiences. We need to recognize an assumption of theirs and we need a better understanding of how their real experience led to that assumption. This takes talk which is a little more careful than usual. Some dialogue skill is helpful. 

                 Dialogue skill comes with information and practice. You probably have already found that more information about the dialogue is available to you in other essays on this site.

Thinking together

                I have experienced a way of conversing that I began to call "thinking together." Early conscious experiences came in a few university seminars. Lately I have begun calling it "the dialogue." I have read about this kind of talk working in large assemblies and between two people. My experience with it has mostly in small groups. I suspect that

groups of over 40 or less than 5 lose much of their functionality.

                From the late 60s to into this millennium I continued some experience with such groups. Most often they included situations in which the sharing of meanings and understandings was an important feature. During this time I noted experiments, studies, and practices related to the dialogue. I came to find validation for my understanding of my experience. I read the works of others as the worked out practical understanding of the process. I was learning about the practice of a useful dialogue.

The dialogue

                The dialogue may seem new, but I suspect that it is ancient. I have begun to think that the dialogue may be valuable in itself and not just to specific ends. I believe that it help us to a happier, healthier, more abundant life through its ongoing use. It has proven its value as a way to coherent meaning and understanding, and in showing us an effective way for maintaining effective, satisfying relationships! It can even be a pleasant parlor game.

                In the dialogue of write of here, we tend to be and to remain independent individuals, with considerable equality of power, and with an understanding of a shared body of coherent meaning, and each with their own values. We come to a better understanding of why each of us hold certain assumptions and opinions.

Shared coherent meaning

                With a body of shared coherent meaning we are in a better position to respect on another and to cooperate with each other. We could become supporters and protectors of culture, or even creators of culture! The dialogue can move us closer to reality, mutual understanding, and mutual respect for our differences.

Doing it

                We can begin by sitting in round and listening to each other with the knowledge that we have some control over the topic. In the process, we sometimes begin to lay our own assumption or opinion on the table where we can all look at them. This laying on the table assumptions, meanings, values, and opinions on the table can become an important aim and doing of the dialogue. The dialogue was once called the Magic Table Dialogue. Find out more in the other essays on dialogue at this site.

                That is about it for now. I like to hear from you. You can contact me in the "comments" section below. Sometimes it says ""no comments;" click on it anyway.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                rcs  

Dialogue for a More Inclusive Democracy

About democracy, inclusion, and communication in a changing populus

A consideration of terms

            A populus is an aggregation of people. Here we will speak mostly, for example, of the people of a nation or state. That is the people of a geographic area which they consider "theirs."  This is not a necessary condition and you may live to note that the geographic condition is less important. 

            Communication includes talk. Talk, especially live face to face talk, is a powerful mode of communication. Print and other media are also a powerful ways of  communicating of a different sort, different because it can effect a great number of people at a time. However, media is less power than face to face talk because it lacks many of the qualities of face to face talk.  Much talk may be carried on between two persons. That talk can be very powerful for them, but may have little effect beyond them. Conversation and  discussion are powerful means of communication for a few persons if is broadcasted by media its power is multiplied. Still live, face to face talk can be the most effective. The talk called dialogue can be carried on effectively with as many as 30 or 40 persons at a time. I believe that it is worth our while to learn more about dialogue.

            Inclusive talk is a useful sort of communication which includes you and me and others who may be different from you or from me or from both of us. When the group talk is a democratic and inclusive dialogue group that group can be satisfying and powerful.

            A dialogue group like this forms a place and time for members to have a more equal opportunity to speak and be heard. Much meaningful understanding as well as respect and friendship can develop in such a group. Dialog groups are usually made up of face to face groups from about three to about thirty individual because groups such size often prove effective and successful.

               Democracy is a word used to describe a ruling or governing group. It indicates that those who govern and rule are the people. Democracy can exist with a great number of limitations. An inclusive democracy is one that attempts to limit the limitations. One limitation has been the limitation to a specified area. For example, a city, state, or country, or a city state like ancient Athens or modern Singapore. "Demo" can refer to the people of Singapore, China, or your group. Among us and others the people of a group are citizens.

Citizen is another limiting word. Just because one lived in a specific area did not make him a citizen there. Slaves could not belong to the ruling group, Infants could not be citizens. Sometimes felons were barred from citizenship. So  among us a nation of the people, by the people, and for the people were limited to citizenship.

            These are terms understood in many dialogue groups. There may be other terms which it would be helpful to define, but this handful makes a good start for now.

            This little essay may turn out to be longer than I anticipated. I may consider publishing it in parts. I tend to feel more comfortable with works of only four or five pages. I will almost certainly publish this work at my blog Dialogue With RCS; here there already more than 50 essays on "dialogue" published you may benefit by checking them out.

            Dialogue groups can be used for a variety of purposes, including, as a parlor game. Here I am considering them as a useful and probably vital tool of democratic governance. Democratic governance seems to be my principle theme here.

            So, Inclusivity is implied by democracy so inclusivity is a guiding principle for democratic dialogue groups and all democratic activities. I like the idea that inclusivity implies some interesting variety. That variety may also be an empowering factor of such groups. Expect your awareness of the value of diversity in our democratic processes ton grow.

            An important purpose of the dialogue group I speak of is to provide a safe space and place for the people of these groups to speak. They are made safe from interruption, but are also spaces where appropriate trust can develope, where we get to know one another, where friendship can develop. They are a place where respectful communication is nurtured. However, they are also a place where everyone is not always on the same page. Sometimes a completely new page turns up and we do some interesting learning. Being in a nurturing atmosphere is good, but variety can be the healthy and interesting spice of life.

             The power of a dialogue group is in its ability to support effective democratic governance. The facilitate inclusive democracies by providing productive platforms for a greater number and a greater variety of people to support the stable governance of those democracies. More of the involved voices are heard listened to, heard, and understood and all come to better understand their situation and condition. These groups form a safe and open space where individuals from diverse backgrounds can come together to engage in meaningful communication. They can come to be in a place where at they can come to make good and better decisions and perhaps make them mutually. Through the dialogue, participants can share their perspectives, experiences, and concerns, allowing  for a more comprehensive understanding of the issues at hand. This inclusive approach ensures that the discussion-making process takes into account the needs and intersects of al citizens, of all members of society.

Education, learning, awareness, in accord with the realities of our community

            We have learning to do. Practice helps. Education and a willingness to be a more aware heps. Recognizing democratic processes is important. Active engagement in democratic processes and and practice in carrying them out is important. Showing up is a great start and a great follow through. We learn best where and when the most voices are heard. Heard one at a time so that we hear them well. Inclusivity and diverse perspectives are valuable reality check.

            In our dialogue groups the comfort of a group in which a most members are of very similar views, beliefs, and background is in an unstable dream world in groups interested in governance. We want the reality and actuality of the society to have representation. That is an important approach is to ensure that the composition of the group reflects the diversity reality of the citizen population. We want to have a group which is as representative of, for example, our town as we can. So, probably some seeking out and invitations may be called for. y including a range of perspectives, our group can better understand and address the realities of our community of interest.

            We want a safe just and realistic ambient for our dialogue group. This involves establishing ground rules which promote respectful and open communication, Where participants can feel comfortable sharing their experiences and opinions. It can be and should be arranged  that each and every member have equal opportunities to be heard. It is important to maintain an environment where participants feel empowered to express themselves with fear of negative judgement or reprisal. At best the oral offering(Speach)  of each member ought to be welcomed as a pressesh gift.

            Dialogue groups can provide a platform for marginalized voices, underrepresented citizens, and persons new to the political conversation of the society. They can better learn the nature of the democratic process in their larger community and learn how to be heard their. The participatory democracy we speak of here aims to involve citizens in the decision-making process. Our dialogue groups can help address power imbalances and promote inclusivity in the process of governance.

The nature of a politically oriented dialogue group

            Politics is not always a bad word.

                So, we can see that our dialogue can be an important way of taking care of ourselves together. Taking care of ourselves together can be called democratic governance.

                Such dialogue is best when it is inclusive. Awareness of the importance and value of diversity in our democratic process needs to be kept high in our minds. As should keeping a safe space available in which to nurture  open and respectful conversation. We profit greatly by maintaining a platform whereat  our voices can be heard. In this space individuals from diverse backgrounds can come together in meaningful conversation. They can begin to share perspectives, experiences, and concerns, allowing for a more comprehensive understanding of the issues at hand.

            This inclusive approach can be vital to ensuring that this transformative journey plays a crucial role in bringing us to a decision-making process which leads to action that is to our lasting benefit. Inclusion promotes social cohesion and well functioning communities. Inclusive dialogue can foster empathy, mutual understanding, and more effective action. Such dialogue groups contribute to system change that embraces and supports participation in the working of democracy. Our participation in democracy through dialogue groups creates an environment  wherein diverse voices  are heard, understood, and valued. Open dialogue and inclusive decision-making lead to the useful actions of a democratic society.

            As we have come to see from our experience and the essays on this blogsite that listening to learn and understand rather than plotting your fascinating response is a valuable practice. Active, fully present, attentive listening provides much of the value in the dialogue we are speaking of.  Through such listening we gain deeper insight into the views and sentiments of our fellows. We come to a more useful understanding of the implications behind their words. You come to be clearly and usefully heard by others in the group as come to more clearly hear and understand them. Empathy among group members improves.

            As your group experience continues, group collaboration improves, group dynamics shift for the better. Members find better ways of blending their ideas with those of other members. Your journey into meaningful self-governance is part of your growth and of the development of your community. You are sowing seeds of collective responsibility together.

            It is good to remember that democracy is less an destination and more an ongoing journey. It happens in our day to day doing of talk, decisions, and actions. It is an ongoing doing. It can be fueled by curiosity, learning, and understanding. It can be helped a lot by your understanding of and practice of the dialogue you are being introduced to at this blogsite. 

            Thank you for reading.

                                                                                    Richard

Satisfying and Effective Group Talk

The nature of this group talk, called dialogue

            There are ways of speaking that are often more effective for good lives, good living, and for good dialogue. Ways that make dialogue better for improving our lives are available. That way of speaking takes practice. That practice is best when it includes: a bit of love; abundant respect, honesty and courtesy; civility and kindness are also helpful. Careful and practiced listening  are a must. It can be a pleasant ongoing practice. Some call it dialogue practice.

            Dialogue can be considered group conversation. It can include an exchange of ideas and opinions. Meaningfulness can be a measure of this conversation. It is good talk among more than two persons. Good talk calls for good listening. Good listening usually calls for meaningful practice. This dialogue is one good way of getting to know one another. It is also a good way to develop appropriate trust for one another. It can be used for fun and learning. Such good group talk can include a sharing of feelings, thoughts, and opinions with an honest desire to understand one another.

            Such dialogue can also improve society. For example it can lead to talk of civics and citizenship. Group talk can come to consider group governance! It need not do so, but it can. Creating group conversation can be powerful. It can be a bit like a parlour game which is great, but it can be more.

Uses of dialogue.           

             Present conditions may call for something like societal navigation by way of dialogue. Dialogue may satisfy a need for the growth of a community of meaning and understanding. When we feel a need for a higher quality of meaning and understanding we can use dialogue skills to share meanings and understandings and find healthy satisfactions in doing so.

            Through dialogue we can better maintain a more coordinate state among ourselves. Our dialogue may make evident our more important commonalities.

            Through dialogue we better our chances of living well in the face of what may seem to be our profound differences. We may find that the reality is that beyond our profound differences are our profound commonalities. Through our dialogue we can look at our differences and commonalities and share some of the experiences which led to them. We can come to better appreciate our varied experience and come to more realistic appreciation of one another.

            In any dialogue group we may come to see what seems to be massive differences of perspective, worldview, and identity! In our dialogue is a way to better understand and appreciate those differences.

            We believe that we are able to work together to accomplish common goals and that at some level that we do have common goals. For example, survival is often an recognized common goal to us and that living well is often another.

            With our ongoing dialogue we can provide ourselves with a better chance for acting together to recognize a chosen goal and going on to act on its accomplishment. For example, it is possible for aspects of our mutual survival to be chosen as our common goal. We believe that it is possible for us to come to a common or mutual understanding of what we are trying to accomplish. Can benefit by learning to co-ordinate our actions so as to facilitate their success. Our dialogue skill and practice is important to our making progress toward our common good.

Think together.

            We can think about thinking together. Actually thinking together can be a life saver. Doing so can also be of practical value for more everyday usage. We can decide to learn to do so with just a little will power. We can be ready to recognize useful skills for thinking together. The skills will include some attention to the way we talk among ourselves and a great deal more attention to the way listen to and and understand one another.

            With practice we learn a lot. We come to better recognize the nature of useful skills.

            With some practice we may be pleasantly surprised by the power of our collective thought. We may be good thinkers, but thinking together very often leads to better thinking. It also leads to our acting together more effectively. Still individual thought is the source of collective thought and deserves a great deal of attention and respect. Thinking together is powered by individual thought. Thinking together is not possible without individual thought,

            Thinking together can bring forth new insights. It also contributes much to our ongoing learning,often with seemingly little effort on our part.           

             When we have decided to try to think together as a family group or any other from of grouping we may find it necessary to overcome what have become traditional models of communication. The dialogue 1    hass a set of rules for doing this, The rules are simple, but they take practice. These rules seem new to some, but they are old and have long been used. Humans are very capable of using them. They may seem new to us because many of us have never seen them practiced. With our normal will power we can come to use them with ease.

            We can understand the nature of dialogue. Let's do so. There are some parts which can seem difficult at first, but they are few. One may be learning to practice: more appropriate trust, more openness without blaming, more open examination of difficulties, stick to a high degree of honesty which includes respect and a rather humble understanding. We are not perfect, but we can aim to keep these attitudes in mind.  

About the nature of the dialogue

            In the beginning the dialogue may seem to have no agenda and to have little structure. You will find the agenda/s as you practice and you will find that the structure there is in the dialogue is very important. Also apparent lack of a clear purpose and desired outcomes may be disturbing for some. Many also are please to find that one desired outcome is that you be heard and understood and that another is you improve your ability to listen to others and to get a better feeling for their meanings.

            A nature of well practiced dialogue is that the talk can become more open and honest and we come to trust one another more appropriately. We also find that there is practically no blaming and that there is abundant responsibility. We become aware of our own inconsistencies as well as those of others. We gradually feel feerer to be ourselves. We like the feeling of getting better without having to be perfect.

            

More about the nature of thinking together and beginning to be more clearly aware of its value

            We begin to consider differences between thinking alone and thinking together. At first it is important to keep those differences in mind but find that it is important to do so. Later it can become a second natures and calls for almost no thought. Thinking together is  done differently than thinking alone. Getting another's meaning into your mind and getting her meaning into yours is not easy. Coming to the mutual understanding of meanings enables you to better act on them together. It is is not easy to do so. Accepting the reality of each others understanding is not easy. Still we can do so. And we can do so with a couple of dozen others. It takes practice and the practice can be a pleasure.

            Much of it is pretty simple. We make a time and place for that thinking to take place. I have found that sitting in a circle facing one another is a good practice. Having the opportunity to have equal opportunity to speak and to listen is also good. Listening well is vital, but perfection is not. We need space for each and all to participate in our thinking. We practice talking together one at a time. We find that we are are making meanings and understandings mutual.  

            We are learning  together to form an kind of interaction new to most of us. It begins as a conscious interaction. We are learning to listen more intently to that which is being said. We listen to understand the meaning of what the speaker is saying. As we listen we are not planing that which we are going to say; we listen to understand the meaning of that which the speaker is trying to express. We do try to think more clearly about that which is being said and to understand the speaker's intention. We intend to achieve a deeper and broader understanding of that which is said, without giving ourself a headache. 

            We can be generous and creative as we think together.

            Evokinga dialogue is different than evoking a discussion. We are not trying to make our point of view dominate. We do want it to be understood and we do want to understand the views of others. We may come to want to know more of the experiences which led to those points of view. We are taking part in a democratic process. We become more aware of the nature of meanings and understandings circulating in our group. We learn to operate in a way which increases our awareness of what is happening in our dialogue. We think freely as we think together.

            All there is to it is to do it and enjoy the process

            Is there a person in your life who might be interested in this dialogue? Talk to them. Talk can be very good. If the person is truly interested, they may be interested in cooperating with you to find a third person. With three persons you have the start of a real dialogue group! When you have about 30 individuals in your group you may think of starting a second group. I have gotten pretty old, but am still ready to help a new group with suggestions, information, explanations and like that.

            Thank you for reading.

                                                                         Richard Sheehan 

      

Start Dialogue Practice and Begin to Enjoy its Benefits

 Learn By Doing

            At first, there are those who do not see the great importance of the practice. Soon they begin to know their practice companions and to feel more comfortable. Many begin to like being listened to and heard. Others begin to find pleasure in listening to other sand practicing improved listening skills. Then others find the new meaning and understanding coming into their lives is pleasantly empowering.

                Many begin to sense the value of the skills they are practicing and learn by doing.

                Soon enough many really get into the dialogue. They begin to see that it can support individuals and society, and lead to more beneficial action. They begin to know what it means to suspend judgement of opinions, opinions of their own and those of others.  The begin to find the value of doing so. They begin to see value in looking over available opinions and discovering some of their sources. They begin to see and know more interesting stuff.

                They may begin to feel it natural to appreciate the objective of listening to every one, one at a time. They come to see the value of listening to what each has to say. Some manage to listen without judgement and to know the reason why. Some even come to feel that their own words are gifts.

                It comes to be that nearly everyone is really trying to understand what each speaker is trying to express. They experience some success at doing so. In time they begin to better understand why others say what they do and also to learn more of the why of that what they themselves say. Wow, they experience a lot.

We Learn A Lot From Our Practice Experience

                We begin to share some common content and get to know each other. More and more we find ourselves in meaningful and creative talk. Our understanding grows and often so do our opinions and the way we value the opinions of others without having to accept them as our own.

                As we practice we can find that looking at many things together can be a revelation. Our understanding grows. Just learning a bit of the life experience of another can be a revelatory.

                We sometimes find that sharing in a certain common way is pleasure and empowering in a way not so common.

                We find that we are defending our opinions and positions less and trying to persuade others less and find that others are doing the same. At the same time we find benefits of our dialogue increase.

                We find that we understand the meaning of assumptions more usefully and also come to better understand the experiences which support them.

                There is more about the practice of dialogue in the other posts on this blogsite.

                It is okay to ask questions

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                Richard Sheehan

Doing It

Ways of do this dialogue: 

                This dialogue may be done in a variety of ways. The ways possible may approach the infinite. It can be done beneficially in a great many ways. Ways that suit the needs of its members.

                Many of these ways have several doings in common. There maybe none of these ways which can be left out without affecting the groups effectiveness. The short list of doings which come to is to practice:

practice democracy.

inclusive participation.

live "face to face" listening and speech. listening skills.

saying something.

showing up.

                All the ways I have thought of for doing this dialogue call for a group of  people. Size matters, but a variety of sizes may prove effective. In most cases a group of over 40 participants will usually less less effective than a group of about 20. The dialogue can be useful for a married couple. A nine person group may do, but may soon feel the need for "new blood." 

The group:

                Ah, the group. This dialogue nearly always calls for a group. You may find that a group of about 17 participants can work very well. A group to be very useful ought to meet regularly. Meeting once a week for an hour or two can be great. One that meets once every three months may fall apart before the end of the first year. Members ought to share a common language, but do not need to be native speaks of that language. A dialogue group could have as a purpose, the practice of speaking a "second language."

                So, you may see that the purpose of your group can affect its make-up. The nature of your group can depend upon your purpose.

                A typical group will be doing some ongoing recruitment of new members.

                

The meeting place can be important to the practice of a dialogue group:

                The meeting place can be very important for nearly every group. The meeting place ought to be neutral so meeting at members homes can present problems. The place ought to be free from interruptions or any disruption and a minimum of discomforts. Also, for me, it is important that the area of the place be large enough to seat members in a single continuous circle. So, chairs are necessary and it is good that the chairs be of a similar nature.

                So it seems that something about the nature and setup of the meeting place ought to be included in the list above. The setup of the chairs is important

to the egalitarian nature of the meeting. The setting of the chairs contribute much to the quality of the dialogue and is part of the practice of democracy.

                It is most often best that the time a place of meeting be consistent. Each and every member needs to kept up to date as to that time and place.

                

As a matter of interest:

                I have my personal preferences for dialogue practice meetings. For example, I like a talking stick. Here at this blogsite are more than 50 essays about the dialogue and its practice. They are free for your perusal.

                This site has a month average of only about 400 viewers, though last month there were over 2,000 views. However, as this has one of my least viewed sites I have thought that it might be useful to combine it with my Governance With RCS site. Dialogue of some sort is probably vital for good governance. So, essays on democratic dialogue would not be out of place there. Have you thoughts on such a move? I'll try not to make any sudden moves.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                        rcs

Who Is Interested in Interacting With This Site?

                I will ramble on a bit longer here but it seems it is getting close to time to shut down Dialogue With RCS for lack of interest. The site has been up for over two years and is averaging only about 400 views a month and in that time I have only been contacted once. I incorrectly expected more exchanges with readers and perhaps some "How to" questions.

            I will keep you informed about my intentions. It may be useful for me to move some of this site to the Governance With RCS site. The Dialogue is an important part of governance and taking care of ourselves together.

Another Ramble Into Dialogue Practice:

            This piece seems to be mostly about what the dialogue is and a little about why I find it interesting and a bit about other stuff. I do not intend to say anything about how to practice the dialogue today. How is a big topic in which it seems few are interested.

           The what of the dialogue is that it can be a good way to meaning and understanding, shared meaning and understanding. It can be about kinds of peace, basketball, relationships, or whatever we like. These days I am interested in dialogue about taking care of ourselves together. I call that governance.

            However, The Dialogue is about effective dialogue. It is not complicated, but it does take practice. There are skills to practice, rules to integrate, and good practices to practice.

            In the practice you can find humor, fun, smiles, some laughter. You can also find satisfaction and new skills. You can find empowering meaning and understanding. Perhaps you can find companionship and co-operation. You may find yourself maintaining culture or even creating culture. You will get to know your practice companions better.

            It can be a supporting and strengthening process, and you do most of it with just the support of your group. I see it something like an adult primary and secondary school with no kindergarten. I can be much faster, but we find that we often have to learn one thing before we learn another.

            The practice includes the development of listening skills that helps us to a more useful understanding of our practice companions, ourselves, and the human world. Our developing listening skills bring more and more meaning and understanding into our lives. We begin to find satisfaction and joy by partaking of this kind of democratic talk. The practice may even let more peace and abundance into one's life.

            The dialogue includes being listened to. I the dialogue we can be heard. Speaking of being heard, the dialogue is communion among a group of individuals. It is not a monologue. For me to advance understanding of the dialogue I need a lot of ongoing feedback. I need to know you better to write to you better. I want to write about the dialogue in more detail, more systematically, in ways more appropriate to your wants, needs, and interests. The topic is broad and and can be deep.

            I often see the dialogue as a democratic stream of meaning flowing among us and through us. Still the dialogue can be much like a parlor game that most of can enjoy and still be a meaningful practice. Even as a parlor game there can be stream of growing meaning and understanding flowing among us which might not notice or give a conscious thought to. Still that flow of meaning and understanding created by us energizes new and meaningful understanding among us.

         

            The shared meaning we create with our dialogue is a force which helps us to more peaceful and meaningful families and relationships, helps us to co-operate locally more effectively, and helps us to more healthy societies nations. and to a more useful, resistant, and meaningful culture. 

The Dialogue is Not:    

~ the analysis found in discussion nor is it an effort to persuade anyone

~ an attempt to gain points.

~ an attempt to make any particular point prevail.

            This dialogue practice is a safer, more useful way to honestly share meaning, experience, 0pinion, assumption, and understanding. And this little essay is headed for more ramble. I hope it will turn out to be useful ramble through some valuable orientation and information.

            I hope that you have begun to suspect that the dialogue is likely to hold benefits for you. I believe that it has a variety of benefits for a variety of individuals. One can be surprised to find that a single minute they have to express an opinion of theirs to an attentive groups has real value for them. They are please to know that there can be many such minutes. Others feel there is important benefit in having the words they express are listen to heard with the intention of understanding. Others feel that the knowledge that each will have and equitable opportunity to be heard and that all will have equal opportunity to be heard. All of this can happen in the first grade.

            We all may come to appreciate the benefits in learning and practicing listening skills. Nearly all can benefit practicing speaking skills. Others are gaining hearing and understanding skills, and benefiting.

            All benefit and are please that many are gaining skills at expressing themselves at an extraordinary level of honesty. 

            Others  may feel that they benefit just by learning to accept that which another says is valuable information. Accepting it as valuable not necessarily for being true or something to be believed. But seeing it rather as a representation of another's opinion, interpretation, or experience. That is as a way to a deeper understanding of another whose opinions are very different from one's own.

            Individuals benefit in a variety of individual ways. For me and others a great benefit seems to center on a flow of meaning which begins to flow through a practice group. That flow can lead to a kind of thinking together in face of great differences discovered in a group. That sort of thinking together is sometimes very powerful, perhaps more powerful than the sum of that of all individual inputs

The Practice Calls For Your Effort:

    You will need to work the practice to gain your benefits. Listening, hearing, understanding call for your attention and more. Showing up and keeping appropriate silence take effort. Co-operating with your fellow dialoguers may be a pleasure, but also calls for effort. Learning the mechanics of this dialogue takes effort which may be called work.

            You can gain certain skills and understandings. You may gain some shared meaning and culture. Showing up may be a bit of a job. But there are more advantages. You can gain word power and voice projection. It is possible to gain a more peaceful and meaningful life. Some improve their use of a language which is not their own.

            This is about all the ramble in can handle today.

        If  you have an idea for practicing dialogue online, please share it. Remember, members must recognize each other and begin to know each other. You may use the "comments" app below.

            Their are other dialogue posts to explore at this site. You are welcome to explore them.

            Thanks for going on this ramble.

                                                                                                rcs