A Good Time to Listen to One Another

                 Now is a good time to listen to one another and learn. It seems a good time to look over and to understand rather than to prepare to be ready to accept, reject, or to add add your point of view to the conversation.

Meaning and Understanding

                It seems that we to often lack something vital to our relationships. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We do not share enough clear meaning and understanding. Suffering this lack is not mandatory. We can share enough and get enough meaning and understanding through certain practices.

                Important among those practices are making or finding time and place to attend and listen with the intention of understanding that which is important to the speaker, of understanding that which is important to that speaker. Another important practice is making time for you to be heard and understood. These practices, along with a few others, helps us to have more meaningful understandings in our lives.  They help us to have well functioning and satisfying nations, marriages, towns, businesses, counties, societies, states, clubs, friendships, and human relationships in general.

Communication

                We have heard more than once that we have a problem with communication. The problem seems to be having enough positive communication which is effective. It may be that we first need to be willing to talk about the issue with the feeling and understanding that our talk will be properly effective. 

                

                Some of us have experienced talk so difficult that we cannot figure out where the other is ''coming from.''  Sometimes it seems to be madness that they could hold such an opinion. There arrives a situation whereat we cannot fathom how "they" came to such a conclusion. And, they have no idea of why we can't. We have a problem. That problem includes cases in which we have not understood why the do or do not consider ''that'' a problem.

The dialogue

                This difficulty calls for a different kind of dialogue. To understand what is going on, we need to better know who we are speaking with. We need to understand some of their life experiences. We need to recognize an assumption of theirs and we need a better understanding of how their real experience led to that assumption. This takes talk which is a little more careful than usual. Some dialogue skill is helpful. 

                 Dialogue skill comes with information and practice. You probably have already found that more information about the dialogue is available to you in other essays on this site.

Thinking together

                I have experienced a way of conversing that I began to call "thinking together." Early conscious experiences came in a few university seminars. Lately I have begun calling it "the dialogue." I have read about this kind of talk working in large assemblies and between two people. My experience with it has mostly in small groups. I suspect that

groups of over 40 or less than 5 lose much of their functionality.

                From the late 60s to into this millennium I continued some experience with such groups. Most often they included situations in which the sharing of meanings and understandings was an important feature. During this time I noted experiments, studies, and practices related to the dialogue. I came to find validation for my understanding of my experience. I read the works of others as the worked out practical understanding of the process. I was learning about the practice of a useful dialogue.

The dialogue

                The dialogue may seem new, but I suspect that it is ancient. I have begun to think that the dialogue may be valuable in itself and not just to specific ends. I believe that it help us to a happier, healthier, more abundant life through its ongoing use. It has proven its value as a way to coherent meaning and understanding, and in showing us an effective way for maintaining effective, satisfying relationships! It can even be a pleasant parlor game.

                In the dialogue of write of here, we tend to be and to remain independent individuals, with considerable equality of power, and with an understanding of a shared body of coherent meaning, and each with their own values. We come to a better understanding of why each of us hold certain assumptions and opinions.

Shared coherent meaning

                With a body of shared coherent meaning we are in a better position to respect on another and to cooperate with each other. We could become supporters and protectors of culture, or even creators of culture! The dialogue can move us closer to reality, mutual understanding, and mutual respect for our differences.

Doing it

                We can begin by sitting in round and listening to each other with the knowledge that we have some control over the topic. In the process, we sometimes begin to lay our own assumption or opinion on the table where we can all look at them. This laying on the table assumptions, meanings, values, and opinions on the table can become an important aim and doing of the dialogue. The dialogue was once called the Magic Table Dialogue. Find out more in the other essays on dialogue at this site.

                That is about it for now. I like to hear from you. You can contact me in the "comments" section below. Sometimes it says ""no comments;" click on it anyway.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                rcs  

Get Familiar With Some Benefits of the Dialogue Group Practice,

         

                On this new blog I continue posting on a kind of dialogue with which you may be becoming familiar. Some churches, corporations, civic organizations, and others have been this sort of dialogue for years, so it is not brand new.

               

                 For those who may not be certain of what I mean by dialogue, In brief, it is meaningful talk within groups.

                

                Below I will begin to note a few of the dialogue's benefits. As we are now on the internet I will say now that, I do not know of cases of the dialogue's being used successfully online. However, I believe that it is now possible to do so, but am not sure how. If you would like to suggest something the "comments" window below is for your use.

                

                As I know it the dialogue is best used face to face, in person. And seems most effective in groups of between 20 and 40 participants. Groups of 15 and less have been please with it. Much of it can be used to good effect between husband and wife. It has been used with groups with groups much larger than 40 with professional facilitators and more as a demonstration than as well functioning group. I would like to see it use online. 

                

                The following list is far from inclusive and not completely representative, but can serve to introduce something of the dialogue.

                

                I have called this dialogue the Magic Table dialogue and a Dialogue for Peace. We can just call it the dialogue.

                    

 Benefits include:

~ learning to make yourself heard.

~ being heard.

~ being listened to.

~ coming to enjoy being heard.

~ an opportunity for the practice of listening.

~ learning that dialogue is more than talk.

~ gaining motivation to listen.

~ improving your us of language.

~ practicing a language new to you.

~ learning new listening skills.

~ the possibility of getting in touch with traditions of knowledge new to you. 

~ getting to know yourself better.

~ getting to know an interesting other.

~ knowing new people.

~ having fun while realizing that the dialogue is a serious activity.

~ experiencing the creation of culture. 

~  increasing your word power.

~ Seeing how better dialogue can be a way to a better world.

~ sharing meaning and understanding.

~ the possibility of beginning an interesting new exploration with safe, comfortable "baby steps." Still there might come a time that you will want to take a step beyond your comfort zone.

~ improving your ability understand others, even those quite different from you.

~ learning more of the effect of assumptions in our lives.

~ the possibility of increased meaning and understanding in our lives.

                                            

                Take a look at the other posts on the dialogue here and you may come to find a way to practice it to your great benefit.

                                                                                                                        rcs    

                             

The Dialogue for Effective Practice of a "Second Language"

We have called it a Magic Table Dialogue group. It could be called a Dialogue for Peace. It can also be an English language practice group, or a great way to practice any language.

As an English Language practice group our dialogue is a very productive way to practice any level of English. The beginning learner has a focused, listening practice, a focused hearing practice, important steps to good pronunciation skills.  At the same time the beginner is getting contextual understanding practice.

This practice group can be of considerable interest to a native speaker of English. Such an English speaker can learn fun, empowering, culture enhancing rules of Magic Table Dialogue. He, or she, can also learn dialogue for peace skills for dealing with and appreciating the assumptions and opinions very different from his own. She can also make friends with individuals of a language and culture from her own.

A typical earner of English can build his or her word power by hearing targeted words in context. Sh also learns to hear the pronunciation, enunciation, and accent of a variety of English speakers. She will hear a number of persons each speak a given word in their own way. A learner may choose to listen for, say, pronunciation or she may choose to focus on contextual meaning. Practice is the main aim here.

Each participant also has opportunities to speak and to be heard. A speaker will have his speech heard by a very interested group of listeners. A speaker will be closely listened to as she expresses herself.

Our dialogue is not a substitute for your other language studies. It is very appropriate supplementary practice. 

You can learn more about our kind of dialogue by searching for posts such as:
"Dialogue Terms"
"Dialogue Practice Notes"
"Our Dialogue as a Productive Way to Practice English"
"About Dialogue Practice" 
"Dialogue Practice One" 

What's in it for you?
~ You can learn dialogue skills and get great productive practice in the use of English.
~ You can improve your listening skills.
~ You can practice hearing and understanding what is said.
~ You can practice using English with a group of persons of importantly similar interests.
~ You can practice using a language other than your own.
~ You can improve your understanding of a people and a culture.
~ You can experience many people listening to you with interest.
~ You can get to know others well in a safe atmosphere. 
~ You can learn to be understood as you speak English.
~ You can learn to be better understood by a variety of English speakers.

I believe that you can come up with other advantages and benefits available to you in our program of practice.



by Richard Sheehan