A Good Time to Listen to One Another

                 Now is a good time to listen to one another and learn. It seems a good time to look over and to understand rather than to prepare to be ready to accept, reject, or to add add your point of view to the conversation.

Meaning and Understanding

                It seems that we to often lack something vital to our relationships. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We seem to lack enough meaning and understanding. We do not share enough clear meaning and understanding. Suffering this lack is not mandatory. We can share enough and get enough meaning and understanding through certain practices.

                Important among those practices are making or finding time and place to attend and listen with the intention of understanding that which is important to the speaker, of understanding that which is important to that speaker. Another important practice is making time for you to be heard and understood. These practices, along with a few others, helps us to have more meaningful understandings in our lives.  They help us to have well functioning and satisfying nations, marriages, towns, businesses, counties, societies, states, clubs, friendships, and human relationships in general.

Communication

                We have heard more than once that we have a problem with communication. The problem seems to be having enough positive communication which is effective. It may be that we first need to be willing to talk about the issue with the feeling and understanding that our talk will be properly effective. 

                

                Some of us have experienced talk so difficult that we cannot figure out where the other is ''coming from.''  Sometimes it seems to be madness that they could hold such an opinion. There arrives a situation whereat we cannot fathom how "they" came to such a conclusion. And, they have no idea of why we can't. We have a problem. That problem includes cases in which we have not understood why the do or do not consider ''that'' a problem.

The dialogue

                This difficulty calls for a different kind of dialogue. To understand what is going on, we need to better know who we are speaking with. We need to understand some of their life experiences. We need to recognize an assumption of theirs and we need a better understanding of how their real experience led to that assumption. This takes talk which is a little more careful than usual. Some dialogue skill is helpful. 

                 Dialogue skill comes with information and practice. You probably have already found that more information about the dialogue is available to you in other essays on this site.

Thinking together

                I have experienced a way of conversing that I began to call "thinking together." Early conscious experiences came in a few university seminars. Lately I have begun calling it "the dialogue." I have read about this kind of talk working in large assemblies and between two people. My experience with it has mostly in small groups. I suspect that

groups of over 40 or less than 5 lose much of their functionality.

                From the late 60s to into this millennium I continued some experience with such groups. Most often they included situations in which the sharing of meanings and understandings was an important feature. During this time I noted experiments, studies, and practices related to the dialogue. I came to find validation for my understanding of my experience. I read the works of others as the worked out practical understanding of the process. I was learning about the practice of a useful dialogue.

The dialogue

                The dialogue may seem new, but I suspect that it is ancient. I have begun to think that the dialogue may be valuable in itself and not just to specific ends. I believe that it help us to a happier, healthier, more abundant life through its ongoing use. It has proven its value as a way to coherent meaning and understanding, and in showing us an effective way for maintaining effective, satisfying relationships! It can even be a pleasant parlor game.

                In the dialogue of write of here, we tend to be and to remain independent individuals, with considerable equality of power, and with an understanding of a shared body of coherent meaning, and each with their own values. We come to a better understanding of why each of us hold certain assumptions and opinions.

Shared coherent meaning

                With a body of shared coherent meaning we are in a better position to respect on another and to cooperate with each other. We could become supporters and protectors of culture, or even creators of culture! The dialogue can move us closer to reality, mutual understanding, and mutual respect for our differences.

Doing it

                We can begin by sitting in round and listening to each other with the knowledge that we have some control over the topic. In the process, we sometimes begin to lay our own assumption or opinion on the table where we can all look at them. This laying on the table assumptions, meanings, values, and opinions on the table can become an important aim and doing of the dialogue. The dialogue was once called the Magic Table Dialogue. Find out more in the other essays on dialogue at this site.

                That is about it for now. I like to hear from you. You can contact me in the "comments" section below. Sometimes it says ""no comments;" click on it anyway.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                rcs  

Satisfying and Effective Group Talk

The nature of this group talk, called dialogue

            There are ways of speaking that are often more effective for good lives, good living, and for good dialogue. Ways that make dialogue better for improving our lives are available. That way of speaking takes practice. That practice is best when it includes: a bit of love; abundant respect, honesty and courtesy; civility and kindness are also helpful. Careful and practiced listening  are a must. It can be a pleasant ongoing practice. Some call it dialogue practice.

            Dialogue can be considered group conversation. It can include an exchange of ideas and opinions. Meaningfulness can be a measure of this conversation. It is good talk among more than two persons. Good talk calls for good listening. Good listening usually calls for meaningful practice. This dialogue is one good way of getting to know one another. It is also a good way to develop appropriate trust for one another. It can be used for fun and learning. Such good group talk can include a sharing of feelings, thoughts, and opinions with an honest desire to understand one another.

            Such dialogue can also improve society. For example it can lead to talk of civics and citizenship. Group talk can come to consider group governance! It need not do so, but it can. Creating group conversation can be powerful. It can be a bit like a parlour game which is great, but it can be more.

Uses of dialogue.           

             Present conditions may call for something like societal navigation by way of dialogue. Dialogue may satisfy a need for the growth of a community of meaning and understanding. When we feel a need for a higher quality of meaning and understanding we can use dialogue skills to share meanings and understandings and find healthy satisfactions in doing so.

            Through dialogue we can better maintain a more coordinate state among ourselves. Our dialogue may make evident our more important commonalities.

            Through dialogue we better our chances of living well in the face of what may seem to be our profound differences. We may find that the reality is that beyond our profound differences are our profound commonalities. Through our dialogue we can look at our differences and commonalities and share some of the experiences which led to them. We can come to better appreciate our varied experience and come to more realistic appreciation of one another.

            In any dialogue group we may come to see what seems to be massive differences of perspective, worldview, and identity! In our dialogue is a way to better understand and appreciate those differences.

            We believe that we are able to work together to accomplish common goals and that at some level that we do have common goals. For example, survival is often an recognized common goal to us and that living well is often another.

            With our ongoing dialogue we can provide ourselves with a better chance for acting together to recognize a chosen goal and going on to act on its accomplishment. For example, it is possible for aspects of our mutual survival to be chosen as our common goal. We believe that it is possible for us to come to a common or mutual understanding of what we are trying to accomplish. Can benefit by learning to co-ordinate our actions so as to facilitate their success. Our dialogue skill and practice is important to our making progress toward our common good.

Think together.

            We can think about thinking together. Actually thinking together can be a life saver. Doing so can also be of practical value for more everyday usage. We can decide to learn to do so with just a little will power. We can be ready to recognize useful skills for thinking together. The skills will include some attention to the way we talk among ourselves and a great deal more attention to the way listen to and and understand one another.

            With practice we learn a lot. We come to better recognize the nature of useful skills.

            With some practice we may be pleasantly surprised by the power of our collective thought. We may be good thinkers, but thinking together very often leads to better thinking. It also leads to our acting together more effectively. Still individual thought is the source of collective thought and deserves a great deal of attention and respect. Thinking together is powered by individual thought. Thinking together is not possible without individual thought,

            Thinking together can bring forth new insights. It also contributes much to our ongoing learning,often with seemingly little effort on our part.           

             When we have decided to try to think together as a family group or any other from of grouping we may find it necessary to overcome what have become traditional models of communication. The dialogue 1    hass a set of rules for doing this, The rules are simple, but they take practice. These rules seem new to some, but they are old and have long been used. Humans are very capable of using them. They may seem new to us because many of us have never seen them practiced. With our normal will power we can come to use them with ease.

            We can understand the nature of dialogue. Let's do so. There are some parts which can seem difficult at first, but they are few. One may be learning to practice: more appropriate trust, more openness without blaming, more open examination of difficulties, stick to a high degree of honesty which includes respect and a rather humble understanding. We are not perfect, but we can aim to keep these attitudes in mind.  

About the nature of the dialogue

            In the beginning the dialogue may seem to have no agenda and to have little structure. You will find the agenda/s as you practice and you will find that the structure there is in the dialogue is very important. Also apparent lack of a clear purpose and desired outcomes may be disturbing for some. Many also are please to find that one desired outcome is that you be heard and understood and that another is you improve your ability to listen to others and to get a better feeling for their meanings.

            A nature of well practiced dialogue is that the talk can become more open and honest and we come to trust one another more appropriately. We also find that there is practically no blaming and that there is abundant responsibility. We become aware of our own inconsistencies as well as those of others. We gradually feel feerer to be ourselves. We like the feeling of getting better without having to be perfect.

            

More about the nature of thinking together and beginning to be more clearly aware of its value

            We begin to consider differences between thinking alone and thinking together. At first it is important to keep those differences in mind but find that it is important to do so. Later it can become a second natures and calls for almost no thought. Thinking together is  done differently than thinking alone. Getting another's meaning into your mind and getting her meaning into yours is not easy. Coming to the mutual understanding of meanings enables you to better act on them together. It is is not easy to do so. Accepting the reality of each others understanding is not easy. Still we can do so. And we can do so with a couple of dozen others. It takes practice and the practice can be a pleasure.

            Much of it is pretty simple. We make a time and place for that thinking to take place. I have found that sitting in a circle facing one another is a good practice. Having the opportunity to have equal opportunity to speak and to listen is also good. Listening well is vital, but perfection is not. We need space for each and all to participate in our thinking. We practice talking together one at a time. We find that we are are making meanings and understandings mutual.  

            We are learning  together to form an kind of interaction new to most of us. It begins as a conscious interaction. We are learning to listen more intently to that which is being said. We listen to understand the meaning of what the speaker is saying. As we listen we are not planing that which we are going to say; we listen to understand the meaning of that which the speaker is trying to express. We do try to think more clearly about that which is being said and to understand the speaker's intention. We intend to achieve a deeper and broader understanding of that which is said, without giving ourself a headache. 

            We can be generous and creative as we think together.

            Evokinga dialogue is different than evoking a discussion. We are not trying to make our point of view dominate. We do want it to be understood and we do want to understand the views of others. We may come to want to know more of the experiences which led to those points of view. We are taking part in a democratic process. We become more aware of the nature of meanings and understandings circulating in our group. We learn to operate in a way which increases our awareness of what is happening in our dialogue. We think freely as we think together.

            All there is to it is to do it and enjoy the process

            Is there a person in your life who might be interested in this dialogue? Talk to them. Talk can be very good. If the person is truly interested, they may be interested in cooperating with you to find a third person. With three persons you have the start of a real dialogue group! When you have about 30 individuals in your group you may think of starting a second group. I have gotten pretty old, but am still ready to help a new group with suggestions, information, explanations and like that.

            Thank you for reading.

                                                                         Richard Sheehan 

      

Who Is Interested in Interacting With This Site?

                I will ramble on a bit longer here but it seems it is getting close to time to shut down Dialogue With RCS for lack of interest. The site has been up for over two years and is averaging only about 400 views a month and in that time I have only been contacted once. I incorrectly expected more exchanges with readers and perhaps some "How to" questions.

            I will keep you informed about my intentions. It may be useful for me to move some of this site to the Governance With RCS site. The Dialogue is an important part of governance and taking care of ourselves together.

Another Ramble Into Dialogue Practice:

            This piece seems to be mostly about what the dialogue is and a little about why I find it interesting and a bit about other stuff. I do not intend to say anything about how to practice the dialogue today. How is a big topic in which it seems few are interested.

           The what of the dialogue is that it can be a good way to meaning and understanding, shared meaning and understanding. It can be about kinds of peace, basketball, relationships, or whatever we like. These days I am interested in dialogue about taking care of ourselves together. I call that governance.

            However, The Dialogue is about effective dialogue. It is not complicated, but it does take practice. There are skills to practice, rules to integrate, and good practices to practice.

            In the practice you can find humor, fun, smiles, some laughter. You can also find satisfaction and new skills. You can find empowering meaning and understanding. Perhaps you can find companionship and co-operation. You may find yourself maintaining culture or even creating culture. You will get to know your practice companions better.

            It can be a supporting and strengthening process, and you do most of it with just the support of your group. I see it something like an adult primary and secondary school with no kindergarten. I can be much faster, but we find that we often have to learn one thing before we learn another.

            The practice includes the development of listening skills that helps us to a more useful understanding of our practice companions, ourselves, and the human world. Our developing listening skills bring more and more meaning and understanding into our lives. We begin to find satisfaction and joy by partaking of this kind of democratic talk. The practice may even let more peace and abundance into one's life.

            The dialogue includes being listened to. I the dialogue we can be heard. Speaking of being heard, the dialogue is communion among a group of individuals. It is not a monologue. For me to advance understanding of the dialogue I need a lot of ongoing feedback. I need to know you better to write to you better. I want to write about the dialogue in more detail, more systematically, in ways more appropriate to your wants, needs, and interests. The topic is broad and and can be deep.

            I often see the dialogue as a democratic stream of meaning flowing among us and through us. Still the dialogue can be much like a parlor game that most of can enjoy and still be a meaningful practice. Even as a parlor game there can be stream of growing meaning and understanding flowing among us which might not notice or give a conscious thought to. Still that flow of meaning and understanding created by us energizes new and meaningful understanding among us.

         

            The shared meaning we create with our dialogue is a force which helps us to more peaceful and meaningful families and relationships, helps us to co-operate locally more effectively, and helps us to more healthy societies nations. and to a more useful, resistant, and meaningful culture. 

The Dialogue is Not:    

~ the analysis found in discussion nor is it an effort to persuade anyone

~ an attempt to gain points.

~ an attempt to make any particular point prevail.

            This dialogue practice is a safer, more useful way to honestly share meaning, experience, 0pinion, assumption, and understanding. And this little essay is headed for more ramble. I hope it will turn out to be useful ramble through some valuable orientation and information.

            I hope that you have begun to suspect that the dialogue is likely to hold benefits for you. I believe that it has a variety of benefits for a variety of individuals. One can be surprised to find that a single minute they have to express an opinion of theirs to an attentive groups has real value for them. They are please to know that there can be many such minutes. Others feel there is important benefit in having the words they express are listen to heard with the intention of understanding. Others feel that the knowledge that each will have and equitable opportunity to be heard and that all will have equal opportunity to be heard. All of this can happen in the first grade.

            We all may come to appreciate the benefits in learning and practicing listening skills. Nearly all can benefit practicing speaking skills. Others are gaining hearing and understanding skills, and benefiting.

            All benefit and are please that many are gaining skills at expressing themselves at an extraordinary level of honesty. 

            Others  may feel that they benefit just by learning to accept that which another says is valuable information. Accepting it as valuable not necessarily for being true or something to be believed. But seeing it rather as a representation of another's opinion, interpretation, or experience. That is as a way to a deeper understanding of another whose opinions are very different from one's own.

            Individuals benefit in a variety of individual ways. For me and others a great benefit seems to center on a flow of meaning which begins to flow through a practice group. That flow can lead to a kind of thinking together in face of great differences discovered in a group. That sort of thinking together is sometimes very powerful, perhaps more powerful than the sum of that of all individual inputs

The Practice Calls For Your Effort:

    You will need to work the practice to gain your benefits. Listening, hearing, understanding call for your attention and more. Showing up and keeping appropriate silence take effort. Co-operating with your fellow dialoguers may be a pleasure, but also calls for effort. Learning the mechanics of this dialogue takes effort which may be called work.

            You can gain certain skills and understandings. You may gain some shared meaning and culture. Showing up may be a bit of a job. But there are more advantages. You can gain word power and voice projection. It is possible to gain a more peaceful and meaningful life. Some improve their use of a language which is not their own.

            This is about all the ramble in can handle today.

        If  you have an idea for practicing dialogue online, please share it. Remember, members must recognize each other and begin to know each other. You may use the "comments" app below.

            Their are other dialogue posts to explore at this site. You are welcome to explore them.

            Thanks for going on this ramble.

                                                                                                rcs

        

             

This Practice is old and it is New, It's Powerful Too

The Practice of  Dialogue 

          Dialogue including: A bit of a definition of our usefully different kind of dialogue. You may have heard or read information before. Read it again here and make sure that it is active in your memory. It is important that you do so. You will benefit.

              I write about a new kind of dialogue. It is mostly for groups of as small as 9 to groups of about 39. 

            Below are some descriptive notes about what is, and what it is not. See other posts on the benefits of this more productive and satisfying way to communicate. It can work wonders with your husband and has been successful in some very large groups.

Our dialogue practice is not a:

~ place to make a particular point prevail.

~ debate or even a discussion. 

~ time to attempt to make points.

~ game to win or lose.

 

This new dialogue practice is a way to:

~ meaning and understanding.

~ an activity which helps us to be us.

~ through the meaning of word.

~ an honest, supportive activity.   

~ greater awareness and enhanced consciousness.

~ hone your listening skills.

~ develop new speaking skills.

~ effective methods of communication. 

~ cultural preservation and creation.

~ make a healthy, effective society more probable.

~ meet interested people in an interesting environment.

~ put honest thoughts "on the table" where we can look at them and begin to find their meaning.

~ be heard.

~ find pleasure in speaking-up.

~ understanding among us and within us.

~ satisfying relationship.

~ exchange idea and opinion more safely. 

~ share experience.

~ more effective communication beyond the group.

~ practice a "second" language.

~ peace and good will.

~ to see our words as gifts.

According to Dr. David Bohm a similar dialogue practice is:

~ participating in a flow of meaning between us, through us, and among us.

~ an activity out of which emerges new and renewed understanding.

~ an activity which helps us to be an us.

            Could you find a way to practice a dialogue of this sort? Could you practice a dialogue more of this sort in your group?

            You can open a window below to make a comment, a suggestion, and ask a question. You might have to click on where where "no comment" is printed below.

            Thanks for reading. 

                                                                                RCS

Space and Time for a Dialogue Practice Group

                    You can find space and time to let more meaning and understanding into your life. Dialogue practice can be a way to meaning, understanding, and more. You can find space and time to bring dialogue practice into your life. This blog deals with a kind of dialogue practice which you may find interesting and and more useful than you may imagine just now. This post deals with the nature of effective dialogue and its practice.

                    I have found that the practice works best face to face in a group. Such a dialogue practice group calls for a  designate space and time. The best space or place is often quiet and private. The best time is often a bit more than an hour at a time about once a week. The time a place is for the benefit of group members ought to satisfy them. Practice groups are best when open to a wide variety of participants. Groups are open, but the number of participants is best limited to less than 40 members. Also it is best when membership is 17 or more; however, successful groups have begun with fewer.

                    Group practice takes time a commitment. It be best done once a week for about an hour or two persession. This is best done forever, but few of us live that long. By using the hints and suggestions found here you can give your group a good chance for successful operation bringing powerful to skills to your members. With love, even a couple can benefit from the skills learned.

                    Again, time for your practice is important. A good goal to aim for might be to find a time good for 20 individuals to meet once a week for an hour and a half each session. A good aim might be to meet for 40 weeks each year.

                    Among the first steps an individual might take is to decide how she intends to show up for group practice. Another step is to actually show up. A great third step could be to arrange to attend complete practice meetings each week for the next couple of months.

                    As she continues her weekly practice sessions she may observe her dialogue companions becoming more effective listeners and more cogent speakers. She could see here companions speaking up, so as to be more successfully heard. She may also come to other members listening more attentively to a member speaking to the group. She might see her good friend in the group honestly express an opinion or describe and experience she has had. She will see fellow dialoguers developing and using new dialogue skills and and attitudes, before she herself becomes aware of her development.

                    With your help we can continue to review the benefits of our dialogue practice. I have read of independent groups practicing this kind of dialogue for a variety of reasons, including the belief that it maintains, strengthens, and creates culture! I have begun to mention a few of the benefits in this essay. Examples are that it can: bring more meaning and understanding to our lives, improve listening and speaking skills, underline the value of showing up, provide opportunity to observe a variety of speakers and listeners, give you the chance to be listened to, and we may discover more.

                    When your interest in this dialogue grows you can try to find a an active group near you. Or, if you know a couple of others who share your interest, you could form your own practice group. When you begin actual practice please feel free to report your experience by clicking on "comments" below. Also know that you are free to ask questions or to make comments whenever you wish.

                    Some simple doings have proven helpful. For example, it seems best to form a circle with chairs facing toward the center and so offering participants a good view of one another. In that circle one often begins to see that participants begin to look less and less to a designated authority and that they avoid building a hierarchy. In such a circle they experience getting to know in a way perhaps new to them.

                Participants in their own circle begin to want the words spoken there to be honest. They may even to see those words as gifts. The find that their words are listened to attentively and sometimes truly accepted as gifts. Participants share words and begin to find more meaning in that which is said. 

                Benefits of the dialogue are gained through practice. There are many ways to practice. Participants in the practice find that there rules(some correctly call them ways)which they learn, most of them are simple and important. They find that their are helpful suggestions available for making the practice more effective and more pleasant. Participants find that a significant number of those rules and suggestions are not completely new to them.

                Most practice is easy to do and easy to understand; even so, ongoing practice is important to making them yours. Some of the steps we take may seem very simple, but they lead to good effects and your group will benefit from them. It may not seem like a step, but an example is the practice of  appropriate respect and courtesy.

                Dialogue practice groups are usually open, but seldom public. Open means that nearly anyone can participate when their are chairs are available. When there are more than about forty individuals who want to participate it is best to consider starting a new group. (When you are interested in discussing this further you may use the comments section below). Seldom public, means that there are usually no observers; when practic begins doors are closed. A dialogue group is not a public forum. A public forum can be, among other things, a wonderful communication container. We can benefit from having and using public forums as we can from dialogue practice groups. However, our practice groups are for teaching our self a different and perhaps higher kind of  communication. 

                A dialogue practice group has ways, means, and aims different from those of public forums. Our ways include practice and democratic inclusion, our main means is our ongoing practice, our aims include bringing more meaning and understanding into our lives and achieving a better understanding of the assumptions and opinions of others. Participants are not interested in bringing others to their point of view. They are more interested in understanding the points of view of others. Some aim to better understand the power of thinking together. Nearly all find that they are listened to more closely than ever.

                You can explore this dialogue practice more by reading other posts on this blog and by communication with us by way of the "comments" app just below this posts. You may find that you can enjoy enhanced meaning and understanding in your life and at the same time engender a bit more peace in our world. You may also find yourself becoming a stronger and more effective individual as you develop and ability to think with another. 

                Thank you for reading.

                Bye for now.

                                                                                                   RCS

    

                    

We Can Share Meaning

 Dialogue With RCS: Listen for Meaning and Understanding; it's about you.

                Now is a good time to listen to learn and to be heard and understood. Now may also be a good time to be more clearly aware of improving our listening skills. It is a time to listen with purpose of gaining new understanding rather than to be ready to accept or reject. The time seems right to be less ready with our own defense and to be more ready to get the meaning of and to understand that which we hear.

                Effective co-operation is becoming more important than it has been for some time. Effective co-operation is a step toward organizing for our mutual good. The paragraph above points to a way toward more effective co-operation.

                You can probably imagine why this is a good time to be aware of the importents of being ready to practice our skills of co-operation. Some are beginning to say that the time is rapidly approaching when we most be able to co-operate well with persons not well known by us! They say that it may take all of us together to adapt successfully to climate change. But there are other reasons. We are responsible for our economy and governance. When we haven't understood the persons available for co-operation with us, we are less able to co-operate well. The practice of appropriate dialogue skills can help us to deal more effectively with the happenings and doings today.

                It seems that we lack something very important in our relationships. We seem to lack enough mutual understandings and meanings. We do not share enough meaning and understanding.  Suffering this lack is not mandatory. We can share enough and get enough meaning and understanding through certain practices.

                Among these practices is listening, listening with the purpose of really understanding. We can listen with the purpose of getting the the meaning of that which is being said. In this process it is fair to ask a question to aid our understanding. It takes practice to do this well. In the listening I write of, it is best to spend less time preparing your response and more time getting at the other's meaning. When it is difficult for me not to be preparing a response instead of listening to find the meaning of what is being said, I have found that it is possible to prepare a friendly question to help me to better understand that which has just been said. We are better served when we make it our purpose to understand.

                Our purpose to understand is served when we do what we can to understand that which the speaker is trying to express. We want to understand what she really means to say. She wants us to understand and we want to get her meaning.

                To aid that process, it is a good practice to arrange to have a useful place to hear and to be heard. We know we are serious about our intention to hear be heard and to understand and to be understood. 

                We have begun to speak of doings and practices which help us to have well functioning and satisfying nations, countries, marriages, towns, businesses, counties, societies, states, clubs, friendships and human relationships in general. There are more practices to become familiar with. They are not difficult, but they do take practice.

                We have heard it said that we have a problem with communication. We have heard less about the nature of the problem. We certainly have not common to a shared understanding of our difficulty. I haven't  heard a discussion of the nature of the nature of the problem yet this month. Part of the problem may be that many have not gotten a useful positive reaction to their efforts at important talk so the engage in less important talk. They may not have been understood or perhaps have not understood others and maybe a hundred other things. So they do something more satisfying. A natural action, but a dangerous one. The usual result is no important talk then no important action. With the help of a dialogue practice group many have done better. With the right practice our important talk can become more properly effective. Our less important talk could become more important and more fun.

                There is lots of talk which can be very difficult. One kind that can difficult is when the subject is not easy and we really can't figure out where the ones we are talking with "are coming from." Sometimes it can seem like madness that they could hold such an opinion on the issue. There can arrive a situation in which we can't fathom came to that conclusion. And, they, have no idea of why we can't. Then there are the cases in which we haven't understood why "they' do not consider "that" to even be an issue or a problem.

                 That might be a good time to head for home and a good TV program. However, if you all had been in a dialogue practice group you may have had a better chance of figurine things out or of coming to some understanding. And you may have come to understand and respect each other more.

                I have experienced a way of talking that I have called thinking together. The first time I really took note of the experience was in an occasional university seminar group. Lately I have been calling that kind of talk The Dialogue. I discovered that people around the world know about and practice that kind of talk. I have read about it working in very large groups and between two people. My recent experience of it has been in small groups. It seems to be most effective  and satisfying in groups of more than 10 and less than 40.

                 From the 1970s to today, my interest in the dialogue has continued. I read about it. I participated in groups in which the values and skills of the dialogue were prominent. Experiments, studies, and practices dealing with the dialogue came to my attention. I came to have my experiences and understandings of the dialogue validated. I began to read others as they began to work out practical understandings of the practice. I was learning about the practice of a very useful kind of dialogue.

                I found that large corporations were using the dialogue with some success, church  were using it, it was being used between religions, married couples had used it as an alternatve to "fair fighting." it has been used in civic and political groups with success. All are finding that it is a practice that is best practiced. Now there are groups practicing the dialogue for the practice. Group members develop skills and understand in the practice which can be used in settings far from their group. Group members also find more personal satisfactions in their practice. They experience positive personal growth and development and a better understanding of the world of humanity in general.

                The practice of this dialogue is not new, but a new understanding of its value is growing. Persons practicing the dialogue in a group learn methods and skills that can be used in problem solving and in collaborative action. The practice can be used to clarify an issue or work out a strategy. It has value as a way to coherent meaning and understanding. It is a way to maintain effective and satisfying relationships. Some have found it a fun parlor game.

                In these dialogue practice groups I write of an important emphasis is on the individual, individual benefits, equality, power, and value. 

                However, many of the values and benefits are shared among members of a practice group. For an example, an understanding of a shared body of coherent meaning occurs benefits members as a group. Group members come to a better understanding that we all hold certain opinions and assumptions, that some of them are subconscious, that not all are shared, and that our reasons for holding them may differ greatly. The group learns to practice a useful democracy and shared leadership. We find satisfaction in such group activity and enjoy some laughs.

                With this body of shared coherent meaning we are in better position to respect on another and to co-operate with each other. We find it easier to organize collective action. We have enough leadership available to act effectively together without a leader! Some benefits go beyond our expectations, and need to be experienced to be understood. We seem to become supporters, protectors, and creators of culture. The practice moves us closer to mutual understanding and mutual respect. 

                Very briefly from light to heavy here is the way we begin the practice. This is what we do. We sit around and listen to each other in the knowledge that we have some control over topic and time. We take short turns speaking on a topic offed by the group. Everyone listens to you with the intent of understanding. This continues for years as we keep our skills and methods sharp. In the process we sometimes going so far as laying an assumption or opinion of ours on the table where we can all look it over. At another time we could ed up sharing the names of our favorite colors.

                It is the practice that counts. Something like going to the gym twice a week, going through your ballet moves, meditation, or any of the practices we humans have. There are now 31 posts on this blog to help you through what I am trying to get across. There are also five pretty good search apps on the blog to aid your explorations.

                There is also a "comments" section just below where you can ask questions, make suggestions, correct one or more of my many errors, or even comment on the content of a specific post.

                Thank you for reading and your kind visits.

                                                                                rcs.

    

 

  

A Democratic Meeting: Hints about it's nature (The people have fogotten that it is about them)

Dialogue With RCS: Meetings and perhaps especially democratic meetings can benefit from the kind of dialogue we have begun to look at.

 

            Here are some hints for recognizing a democratic meeting. Can you see where bits of our dialogue methods are being used. Can you imagine where the needs and purposes of people might be better met through to use of our dialogue skills and methods?

           

             As you look over the hints below you may find it useful to keep in mind that all democracy is participatory and that each democratic meeting can be a powerful learning experience for those attending. Some participants may be making some intrinsic rules for effective and just communication more evident to themselves. That is they may be learning about effective and fair communication through observation. 

 

On to the hints. A meeting is more democratic the more it is: 

~ of, by, and for the participants.

~ free from outside powers.

~ autonomous. 

~ in a neutral place.

~ tending to be inclusive.

~ understood to be an important listening experience.

~ designed to keep leadership roles to a minimum and of wide participation. Take turns.

~ is a "teach in" and a learning experience.

~ a time more for understanding and less for decision. (decision is easier where there is understanding first.)

~ less authoritarian and hierarchical and more horizontal and egalitarian. 

~ a time for thinking together. 

~ a time when your comments and and communications are best addressed to the group as a whole.

~ a time to practice good manners and honesty.

 

Here are some happenings that may occur at a meeting whether it is democratic or not: 

~ Politics may be being practiced.

~ Some may be consciously practicing dialogue skills, methods, and techniques.

~ Some are finding that their respect and courtesy are good for them and for others.

~ Others may be increasing their understanding of the vocabulary of the business at hand. 

 

            These hints are less about arrival and more about orientation.

             

            Thank you for reading. Read again on this blog whenever you like.

 

 

                                                                            rcs 

Our Dialogue

Dialogue With RCS: About the Nature of Our Dialogue

 

                Our dialogue talk is designed to create areas of coherence in the vastness of misunderstanding. Often a major benefit of our dialogue is to give us a better chance to experience the power of collectively shared meaning which we have created. Most ordinary talk in our society may be called incoherent. To learn to do our dialogue talk, takes ongoing practice. This practice we have called Dialogue for Peace, Magic Table Dialogue, and just The Dialogue. The Dialogue has rules which call for practice. The rules need not be rigid, but they do call for practice which is important. 

                The Dialogue is aimed at learning to think together coherently. Thinking together coherently calls for sustained practice. An early practice may be called a listening practice, but calls for some use of your voice as well as of your ears and mind. Thinking together is both satisfying and a great power.  We believe that it is well worth the effort.

                This thinking together is a learning and growth process. It occurs on various levels of consciousness. It occurs in one, in mental talk to one's self, or even on unspoken levels. We could just say that a lot of learning goes on in dialogue our practice.

                Make comments below. I respect suggestions and am grateful for them.
Suggestions about how the dialogue might be done online can benefit us.
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                                                                                                    RCS