Start Dialogue Practice and Begin to Enjoy its Benefits

 Learn By Doing

            At first, there are those who do not see the great importance of the practice. Soon they begin to know their practice companions and to feel more comfortable. Many begin to like being listened to and heard. Others begin to find pleasure in listening to other sand practicing improved listening skills. Then others find the new meaning and understanding coming into their lives is pleasantly empowering.

                Many begin to sense the value of the skills they are practicing and learn by doing.

                Soon enough many really get into the dialogue. They begin to see that it can support individuals and society, and lead to more beneficial action. They begin to know what it means to suspend judgement of opinions, opinions of their own and those of others.  The begin to find the value of doing so. They begin to see value in looking over available opinions and discovering some of their sources. They begin to see and know more interesting stuff.

                They may begin to feel it natural to appreciate the objective of listening to every one, one at a time. They come to see the value of listening to what each has to say. Some manage to listen without judgement and to know the reason why. Some even come to feel that their own words are gifts.

                It comes to be that nearly everyone is really trying to understand what each speaker is trying to express. They experience some success at doing so. In time they begin to better understand why others say what they do and also to learn more of the why of that what they themselves say. Wow, they experience a lot.

We Learn A Lot From Our Practice Experience

                We begin to share some common content and get to know each other. More and more we find ourselves in meaningful and creative talk. Our understanding grows and often so do our opinions and the way we value the opinions of others without having to accept them as our own.

                As we practice we can find that looking at many things together can be a revelation. Our understanding grows. Just learning a bit of the life experience of another can be a revelatory.

                We sometimes find that sharing in a certain common way is pleasure and empowering in a way not so common.

                We find that we are defending our opinions and positions less and trying to persuade others less and find that others are doing the same. At the same time we find benefits of our dialogue increase.

                We find that we understand the meaning of assumptions more usefully and also come to better understand the experiences which support them.

                There is more about the practice of dialogue in the other posts on this blogsite.

                It is okay to ask questions

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                Richard Sheehan

Doing It

Ways of do this dialogue: 

                This dialogue may be done in a variety of ways. The ways possible may approach the infinite. It can be done beneficially in a great many ways. Ways that suit the needs of its members.

                Many of these ways have several doings in common. There maybe none of these ways which can be left out without affecting the groups effectiveness. The short list of doings which come to is to practice:

practice democracy.

inclusive participation.

live "face to face" listening and speech. listening skills.

saying something.

showing up.

                All the ways I have thought of for doing this dialogue call for a group of  people. Size matters, but a variety of sizes may prove effective. In most cases a group of over 40 participants will usually less less effective than a group of about 20. The dialogue can be useful for a married couple. A nine person group may do, but may soon feel the need for "new blood." 

The group:

                Ah, the group. This dialogue nearly always calls for a group. You may find that a group of about 17 participants can work very well. A group to be very useful ought to meet regularly. Meeting once a week for an hour or two can be great. One that meets once every three months may fall apart before the end of the first year. Members ought to share a common language, but do not need to be native speaks of that language. A dialogue group could have as a purpose, the practice of speaking a "second language."

                So, you may see that the purpose of your group can affect its make-up. The nature of your group can depend upon your purpose.

                A typical group will be doing some ongoing recruitment of new members.

                

The meeting place can be important to the practice of a dialogue group:

                The meeting place can be very important for nearly every group. The meeting place ought to be neutral so meeting at members homes can present problems. The place ought to be free from interruptions or any disruption and a minimum of discomforts. Also, for me, it is important that the area of the place be large enough to seat members in a single continuous circle. So, chairs are necessary and it is good that the chairs be of a similar nature.

                So it seems that something about the nature and setup of the meeting place ought to be included in the list above. The setup of the chairs is important

to the egalitarian nature of the meeting. The setting of the chairs contribute much to the quality of the dialogue and is part of the practice of democracy.

                It is most often best that the time a place of meeting be consistent. Each and every member needs to kept up to date as to that time and place.

                

As a matter of interest:

                I have my personal preferences for dialogue practice meetings. For example, I like a talking stick. Here at this blogsite are more than 50 essays about the dialogue and its practice. They are free for your perusal.

                This site has a month average of only about 400 viewers, though last month there were over 2,000 views. However, as this has one of my least viewed sites I have thought that it might be useful to combine it with my Governance With RCS site. Dialogue of some sort is probably vital for good governance. So, essays on democratic dialogue would not be out of place there. Have you thoughts on such a move? I'll try not to make any sudden moves.

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                        rcs

Who Is Interested in Interacting With This Site?

                I will ramble on a bit longer here but it seems it is getting close to time to shut down Dialogue With RCS for lack of interest. The site has been up for over two years and is averaging only about 400 views a month and in that time I have only been contacted once. I incorrectly expected more exchanges with readers and perhaps some "How to" questions.

            I will keep you informed about my intentions. It may be useful for me to move some of this site to the Governance With RCS site. The Dialogue is an important part of governance and taking care of ourselves together.

Another Ramble Into Dialogue Practice:

            This piece seems to be mostly about what the dialogue is and a little about why I find it interesting and a bit about other stuff. I do not intend to say anything about how to practice the dialogue today. How is a big topic in which it seems few are interested.

           The what of the dialogue is that it can be a good way to meaning and understanding, shared meaning and understanding. It can be about kinds of peace, basketball, relationships, or whatever we like. These days I am interested in dialogue about taking care of ourselves together. I call that governance.

            However, The Dialogue is about effective dialogue. It is not complicated, but it does take practice. There are skills to practice, rules to integrate, and good practices to practice.

            In the practice you can find humor, fun, smiles, some laughter. You can also find satisfaction and new skills. You can find empowering meaning and understanding. Perhaps you can find companionship and co-operation. You may find yourself maintaining culture or even creating culture. You will get to know your practice companions better.

            It can be a supporting and strengthening process, and you do most of it with just the support of your group. I see it something like an adult primary and secondary school with no kindergarten. I can be much faster, but we find that we often have to learn one thing before we learn another.

            The practice includes the development of listening skills that helps us to a more useful understanding of our practice companions, ourselves, and the human world. Our developing listening skills bring more and more meaning and understanding into our lives. We begin to find satisfaction and joy by partaking of this kind of democratic talk. The practice may even let more peace and abundance into one's life.

            The dialogue includes being listened to. I the dialogue we can be heard. Speaking of being heard, the dialogue is communion among a group of individuals. It is not a monologue. For me to advance understanding of the dialogue I need a lot of ongoing feedback. I need to know you better to write to you better. I want to write about the dialogue in more detail, more systematically, in ways more appropriate to your wants, needs, and interests. The topic is broad and and can be deep.

            I often see the dialogue as a democratic stream of meaning flowing among us and through us. Still the dialogue can be much like a parlor game that most of can enjoy and still be a meaningful practice. Even as a parlor game there can be stream of growing meaning and understanding flowing among us which might not notice or give a conscious thought to. Still that flow of meaning and understanding created by us energizes new and meaningful understanding among us.

         

            The shared meaning we create with our dialogue is a force which helps us to more peaceful and meaningful families and relationships, helps us to co-operate locally more effectively, and helps us to more healthy societies nations. and to a more useful, resistant, and meaningful culture. 

The Dialogue is Not:    

~ the analysis found in discussion nor is it an effort to persuade anyone

~ an attempt to gain points.

~ an attempt to make any particular point prevail.

            This dialogue practice is a safer, more useful way to honestly share meaning, experience, 0pinion, assumption, and understanding. And this little essay is headed for more ramble. I hope it will turn out to be useful ramble through some valuable orientation and information.

            I hope that you have begun to suspect that the dialogue is likely to hold benefits for you. I believe that it has a variety of benefits for a variety of individuals. One can be surprised to find that a single minute they have to express an opinion of theirs to an attentive groups has real value for them. They are please to know that there can be many such minutes. Others feel there is important benefit in having the words they express are listen to heard with the intention of understanding. Others feel that the knowledge that each will have and equitable opportunity to be heard and that all will have equal opportunity to be heard. All of this can happen in the first grade.

            We all may come to appreciate the benefits in learning and practicing listening skills. Nearly all can benefit practicing speaking skills. Others are gaining hearing and understanding skills, and benefiting.

            All benefit and are please that many are gaining skills at expressing themselves at an extraordinary level of honesty. 

            Others  may feel that they benefit just by learning to accept that which another says is valuable information. Accepting it as valuable not necessarily for being true or something to be believed. But seeing it rather as a representation of another's opinion, interpretation, or experience. That is as a way to a deeper understanding of another whose opinions are very different from one's own.

            Individuals benefit in a variety of individual ways. For me and others a great benefit seems to center on a flow of meaning which begins to flow through a practice group. That flow can lead to a kind of thinking together in face of great differences discovered in a group. That sort of thinking together is sometimes very powerful, perhaps more powerful than the sum of that of all individual inputs

The Practice Calls For Your Effort:

    You will need to work the practice to gain your benefits. Listening, hearing, understanding call for your attention and more. Showing up and keeping appropriate silence take effort. Co-operating with your fellow dialoguers may be a pleasure, but also calls for effort. Learning the mechanics of this dialogue takes effort which may be called work.

            You can gain certain skills and understandings. You may gain some shared meaning and culture. Showing up may be a bit of a job. But there are more advantages. You can gain word power and voice projection. It is possible to gain a more peaceful and meaningful life. Some improve their use of a language which is not their own.

            This is about all the ramble in can handle today.

        If  you have an idea for practicing dialogue online, please share it. Remember, members must recognize each other and begin to know each other. You may use the "comments" app below.

            Their are other dialogue posts to explore at this site. You are welcome to explore them.

            Thanks for going on this ramble.

                                                                                                rcs

        

             

The Dialogue Game

 It's a Practice which Increases your Skill and Understanding:   

                Our dialogue talk is designed to create areas of coherence in the vastness of misunderstanding. Often a major benefit of our dialogue is to give us a better chance to experience the power of collectively shared meaning which we have created. Most ordinary talk in our society may be called incoherent. To learn to do our dialogue talk, takes ongoing practice. This practice we have called Dialogue for Peace, Magic Table Dialogue, and just The Dialogue. The Dialogue has rules which call for practice. The rules need not be rigid, but they do call for practice which is important. 

                The Dialogue is aimed at learning to think together coherently. Thinking together coherently calls for sustained practice. An early practice may be called a listening practice, but calls for some use of your voice as well as of your ears and mind. Thinking together is both satisfying and a great power.  We believe that it is well worth the effort.

                This thinking together is a learning and growth process. It occurs on various levels of consciousness. It occurs in one, in mental talk to one's self, or even on unspoken levels. We could just say that a lot of learning goes on in dialogue practice.

                Make comments below. I respect suggestions and am grateful for them.
Your suggestions about how the dialogue might be done online can benefit us.You may place whatever you have to say in the "Comment" area below anonymously, with a pen name, ot just your regular name.

                   Search this blog with one of the several avenues of search available here.    

                Dialogue practice is much like a parlor game. When you hold the talking stick, everyone listens. Your talking time is limited and if you wish you make it very short. You can say, "The word is ______." and "I pass." 

                Thank you for reading.

                                                                                                    

                                                                                            RCS

                                                                                          

Dialogue Practice Group Benefits

More meaning in you your life, better understand of others, a way to a better world, being listened to.  

           

                On this new blog I intend to continue a number of posts on a kind of dialogue with which you may be becoming familiar. Some churches, corporations, civic organizations, and others have been benefiting from this sort of dialogue for years, so it is not brand new.

               

                For those who may not be certain of what I mean by dialogue, In brief, it is meaningful talk within groups.

                

                Below I will begin to note a few of the dialogue's benefits. As we are now on the internet I will say now that, I do not know of cases of the dialogue's being used successfully online. However, I believe that it is now possible to do so, but am not sure how. If you would like to suggest something the "comments" window below is for your use.

                

                As I know it, the dialogue is best used face to face, in person. And seems most effective in groups of between 20 and 40 participants. Groups of 15 and less have been please with it. Much of it can be used to good effect between husband and wife. It has been used with groups with groups much larger than 40 with professional facilitators and more as a demonstration than as well functioning group. I would like to see it use online. 

                

                The following list is far from inclusive and not completely representative, but can serve to introduce something of the dialogue.

                I am calling it the dialogue now, have called it Magic Table Dialogue and Dialogue For Peace.

                    

 Benefits include:

~ learning to make yourself heard.

~ being heard.

~ being listened to.

~ coming to enjoy being heard.

~ an opportunity for the practice of listening.

~ learning that dialogue is more than talk.

~ gaining motivation to listen.

~ improving your use of language.

~ practicing a language new to you.

~ learning new listening skills.

~ the possibility of getting in touch with traditions of knowledge new to you. 

~ getting to know yourself better.

~ getting to know an interesting other.

~ knowing new people.

~ having fun while realizing that the dialogue is a serious activity.

~ experiencing the creation of culture. 

~  increasing your word power.

~ Seeing how better dialogue can be a way to a better world.

~ sharing meaning and understanding.

~ the possibility of beginning an interesting new exploration with safe, comfortable "baby steps." Still there might come a time that you will want to take a step beyond your comfort zone.

~ improving your ability understand others, even those quite different from you.

~ learning more of the effect of assumptions in our lives.

~ the possibility of increased meaning and understanding in our lives.

                                     

                 More to come.

               

                Thank you for reading!

                                                                                                              RCS

 

 

For a Successful Dialogue Practice

Try the following:

~ Address the group as a whole. Avoid addressing your words to one or two persons.

~ Remember that it is most useful to listen, hear, and understand.

~ Avoid giving advice.

~ Remember that a speaker is probably doing her or his best to be honest.

~ Avoid interrupting another. Your group has a way of dealing with those who would damage your practice.

~ Keep expenses to a minimum. Everyone helps to take care of necessary expenses. Do your part.

~ Really listen to to what another is saying. Improved understanding is a major aim of your group.

~ Learn to listen well and gain greater listening skills.

~ Encourage everyone to speak at each opportunity. The words of each are gifts for us all.

~ Limiting each speaking time to 1 or 2 minutes. It's great to have time to speak more than once at a meeting.

~ Remember that focusing dialogue on personal experience is good practice.

~ In the beginning get 8 or 9 interested persons to commit to 4 or 5 consecutive meetings.

Practice perfects.

More to Come.

                                                                                rcs

  

What's to Like in an Organization?

 We know that organization increases our power enormously. We know that our organization informs and educates us well.

                    We are capable of forgetting the pleasures and satisfactions  of organization. I expect that the pleasures and satisfactions I am recalling just now will not be the same as yours. Still among mine you may find one or two of yours.

                    I have an interest in ad hoc organizations and and those of longer term.

Below are many of my personal likes in organizations. You may find some of your likes listed.

An organization which attracts me often has:

~ members who feel connected, involve, and respected.

~ the motive of helping me and others to thrive.

~ a clear understanding of costs and benefits.

~ members who promote widespread participation and responsibility.

~ members who embrace reality and who are willing to approach the truth.

~ members who value honesty and justice.

~ a mission I find valuable and pleasing.

~ plenty of talk in which all participate.

An organization which pleases me is one which:

~ Keeps me in the information loop.

~ most members feel well connected with leadership.

~ Makes very clear who pays how much and who gets what.

~ moves in the direction of democracy.

~ tends to be inclusive.

~ tends to safeguard that which I value.

~ includes those who study and promote actions good for me and others.

~ advocates and protects people and process important to me.

~ promotes dialogue which leads to appropriate action.

I find an organization congenial when it includes:

~ teaching the process of organizing.

~ the purpose of advocating and protecting me.

~ objectives very like my own.

~ intelligent, respectful, loving ladies. (Excuse my honesty, please.)

                I am very interested in hearing of your likes in organizations. I expect to post more about organization and organizing. Dialogue skills are organizational skills for all participants in society.

                Organizing can be a wonderful move toward governance.

                More as soon as I can.

                Thank you for reading. Make some time to do some exploration among the 50 posts here.

                                                                                                            RCS