To do the dialogue you need another person interested In It.
Two people can cooperate to find a third tentative dialoguer. As the two of you have your eyes open to finding a third and while you are alert to finding another you can make sure that you have something to offer that other. The main thing you can offer is very likely your experience with the practice.
You already have much else to offer. You have that which you have read of the practice in the essays here. Before reading anything here you already knew a lot. For example you knew something the courtesies of conversation and the nature of discussion. You know how to talk and about how you talk. You have some understanding of communication. You know a bit about that which interests you in "the dialogue." You have some ability to share some of what you have experienced or have understood with your dialouge friend and perhaps with the other you are looking for.
You have probably come to understand that the dialogue is a live, face to face activity. You may not yet come to understand that it is a democratic activity. That is you are probably learning that it is an activity wherein we meet each other as equals. It is definitely an activity which we practice together. It is an activity wherein understanding continues to occur.
So, there is some common understanding; and you have some understanding that you can share with dialogue friends. But the dialogue is a practice, an activity to be carried on. I have found some practical and productive ways to carry on this activity and have shared some of it in other essays available to you on this site. However, I am not sure that you are ready or interested in learning more. I believe that you have an important understanding of what I am writing about. However, I suspect that you could benefit a great deal more if you knew more about how to do the practice. The way is important. There is more than more than one productive way to practice the dialogue and I am able to help you learn to use one of them very well.
There are some dialogues skills and practices that you already know quite a bit about. You have some important listening skills and may learn more. You may find it easy to maintain quiet when another group member is speaking. You probably speak well and are certainly able to make yourself better heard and understood. I believe that you are able to discover more of the pleasure of actually understanding another.
Actual practice is important. In a dialogue practice group we practice acting with good will toward all as we address all and also hearing each. We even practice generosity, forbearance, and tolerance. We practice attitudes of friendliness, kindness, and benevolence. We learn to practice with dignity and self respect. These are behaviors we are likely to have practiced in our daily lives so there is probably little need to discuss them before each practice. Still it is good to remember to practice these behaviors during each dialogue practice.
As at a workout at a gym, most dialogue practices are not very unnatural or complicated, but there can be times they call on energy and attention.
Dialogue practice can become more difficult for some when they find that dialogue group meets are a place: to help others learn to be heard and understood; where we learn to accept the reality of assumptions of others; whereat we come to recognize and understand the nature of an assumption of our own; we come to see the similarities between assumption and opinion; were we come to see the great value of ongoing dialogue; and even to see our words as gifts to others. No one can learn everything at once. That's why we have practice groups.
The way has a simple beginning and the practice fits nearly everyone. All that is necessary is to show up and try to pay attention.
However, a person in a dialogue group can choose to go far. To begin with a practice could include getting an opinions and assumptions out on the table where we can look it over. We can look them over with much interest and little passion. Our observation of the thought on the table can help us to see that which holds some importance for each of us. We may come to a better understanding of its source. We may never come to accept an opinion of another, we may come to understand how it was gotten and how it is held. The dialogue can be a way to deeper and more respectful common understanding.
Some of the possible in dialogue practice may not do for anyone. But, some of the possible may do for a great many. Many find it great to learn not to speak too loudly in a group. Many find it great that their practice helps them learn to speak loudly enough and clearly enough to be well heard in the group.
So, the dialogue is just communication of one person to another and it is not very like the dialogue we speak of being in a movie or a novel. I believe that the word dialogue is made up of "dia" meaning ''through'' or ''by way of" and of ''logos'' meaning ''word." So, the word does not have to be Greek to us. I take it to mean a way to common understanding by the way of word.
Thank you for reading
Richard Sheehan
I do not have an editor.and my eyes are growing dim. Please feel completely free to correct any and all of my errors including those of sentence structure and certainly spelling. Also I may need abundant where have just failed to make myself clear. I am grateful to hear any of your comments.
Richard
